Last night I was afraid of the effects of the pain medication for my kidney stone. This morning I realized I was taking the wrong dose, I was taking too much. Today I felt much better taking the correct dose but I felt tired. I think I might be feeling withdrawal. Or I just might have been tired from a very busy week.

I felt the kidney stone several times today but it still didn't come out.

This morning Christie went and told her Co-Anon story at the CA convention. I was very proud of her and listened to it tonight on CD. I took care of the kids with my Mom's help. Every thing went fine and I never yelled at the kids or got resentful to have to take care of them.

Today I got to speak to my newest sponsee about the progress of his inventory work.

This evening I got to go to the convention. At a couple of times I had to watch myself for taking other people's inventory.

I went to a marathon meeting on the 10th step daily inventory.

What I can do better tomorrow
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I can plan something special for the kids to do.
I can ...

Today I got into a discussion with a coworker about belief in God. I was inspired with an analogy of God and Government. I'm too tired to write about it now but will do so int the SCS blog. During our discussion I had to pray to steady my emotions.

This afternoon the scta website went down due to the bill not getting paid. I was verydistraught as people were trying to look there for convention information. Again I had to turn to God sanity and guidance. I was able to take appropriate action and get it back up.

I got to go to the convention

Tonight I helped Christie with her story.

I got to speak to Eddie

I woke up on time today and made it to work early.

I was a little resentful at work that there was some gossip about a person who got a dui and missed some days due to jail.

I got to go to the noon AA meeting. I got to meet some more people there including another guy at his very first AA mtg. We read step 11 and tradition 11 in the 12x12. I got to share my experience with one of my favorite steps. About how I learned to think about God in a different way. That I needed to think of God as power to restore, transform, sustain and transform me. About how prayer and meditation were the way that I connect to that power. I would like to make arrangements to be able to take more time to go to the whole meeting or stay later.

I did better at returning calls from sponsees and friends today. I stopped in and saw Rudy after work. I was very happy to hear from my friend Eddie who's moved away. I got to talk to Andy.

What I can do better tomorrow
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I can focus more on work at work
I can try to reach ot to people more

This morning I found an AA meeting downtown at noon, 2 blocks from my job. There was a guy there for his very first AA meeting. He was very troubled at having lost his kids. he talked about how his daughter encouraged him to get sober.

Today I finally went to the doctor for my kidney stone. He found it, gave me a diagnosis and prescription. Hopefully I won 't have to have surgery.

Tonight I had to make a decision about going to a meeting or getting to bed on time and doing an evening review. Last night i went to my last Bible study. The past 3 nights I have been late getting to bed. The last 3 mornings I have had trouble getting up and this morning didn't have time to pray.

I hear AA speakers say that if you don't find shortcomings in your day then you aren't doing a thorough review. I agree about being thorough but sometimes I think that digging for the slightest imperfections on good days is like looking the gift horse in the mouth. It's like not being grateful for God's grace.

I know that I am not perfect but when I don't find major points of resentment, fear, dishonesty, or selfishness. I don't think I need to nitpick my day to death. I think there is enough merit in what good things happen and areas that can be improved even though I don't find character defects cropping up. Maybe that's it. I have been limiting myself to corrective measures when "what I could do better" also encompasses improving effectiveness even on good days.

Corrective Measures/What I can do better
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I can call more people in my fellowship
I can grow in patience with my family
I can be a better example of a person of faith
I can be more enthusiastic about sponsoring

This morning I woke up so tired that it hurt. I had to restrain myself from blaming Christie. I had to see that my wellness was threatened. This was where my blamestorm came from. I sought gratitude for a good wife as my remedy. I resolved to see that I am responsible for my sleep but that my pain would pass and the time with her last night was worth it.

Today I criticized her for spending money on portraits of Eva when she sent me an email with links to the pictures. When I came home I apologized and enjoyed the pictures with her. I let my financial fear come between us. I looked at how I haven't done anything to use our resources to take portraits.

This evening Christie had to help a couple through a difficult problem. Their child was harming them in his addiction and they had to call the police and conront him. They also needed help with kids. I was very proud of her for helping them. We got to share our experience with them together.

Tonight we shared the scripture study on psalm 22 from my last class. It is a scripture about tests of our faith in times of suffering. It was synchronous with the evening's events. We prayed together before bed. I was too tired to do this review but woke up later with the baby.

When I have hardship I will strive to see that I will come out stronger in faith in the end.
I will remember the desparation I felt in my suffering and continue to serve the Lord effectively in gratitude and joy.

Tonight I experienced one of the frequent things that frustrates me today. Several times I had an inspired sequence of thoughts that I wanted to follow through and to write about but I was interrupted by a family need.

This afternoon we all had a great time playing in the back yard. I stayed home with the family since I was very late getting to sleep last night. This brings up a recurring dilemma I have of whether to go to meetings or stay home with the family. I am too tired to write about it. I had lots of thoughts about it earlier but I am worn out andbrain dead now.

We all had a good morning waking up early and getting off to a good start. I felt tired after the work we did yesterday and from being sick. I had a moment where I almost went into fear mode but after a little nap I woke up refreshed and we made it to church early.

We had a good experience there. There was no daycare so Ivan had to sit with us. He hasn't sat through mass with us more than once or twice and his learning delay makes it a potential disaster but it went realy well. The kids all did good and Christie and I finished out the morning feeling very optimistic about the progress of our family.

During the day Christie blurted out some gripes about some things Bobby and I did and it got me thinking about some rules for behavior in our home.

Today I did some long term cleaning and cleaned up some of my wifes stuff. I couldn't help but go into fault finding mode as I was very frustrated with the clutter and highly motivated to clean it now.

Again I thought about rules and realized that we don't have any clearly defined house rules.

My parents came over this afternoon and we all had a great time watching the Dallas game, eating Pollo Regio, and visiting.

My Failings Today
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I was fault finding of Christie
I was inconsiderate with her stuff
I was short with Bobby

Corrective Measures
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I should apologize to Christie for the trouble I have caused her by cleaning up and being inconsiderate of where I put her stuff.
I must be very obective about how I present my ideas for the house rules to her and restrain myself no matter how she reacts.
I must continue to work at treating the kids with respect and sensitivity and restrain my anger.