Today was a good day, I didn't get angry, dishonest or afraid.
I had good initiative at work today and I acted on a commitment.
I got to go to a meeting at noon and share about step two.
I got to take my kid to baseball practice.
I was thinking about is lucky #7 and I thought about how lucky we are. We are in the middle of a mortgage crisis where many people are losing their homes. I was out of work at this time last year and in a lot of fear. I don't make aenough money but the bills get paid.
I am grateful for our home and our livelyhood.
Thank you God.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
It was beautiful Easter Sunday morning.
We got off to church early and when we arrived I was apprehensive of being too early. Bobby ran ahead of me around the corner to the entrance of the Church and when I came around Fr. James had caught him in his arms. Fr. Oliver, retired from St. Catherine's was our celebrant.
I got angry at Christie for not finishing the job of cleaning the house for our Easter dinner. I had to clean when I came home from Church.
I got angry at Christie for not finishing the job of shopping last night for our Easter dinner. I had to run to the only store open and buy several items, it was very crowded.
I thought about how these are the same things that I always get angry for at her. I thought about how this is the cross I have to bear. I thought of how peace of mind can be resurrected at any time if I just forgive. I made amends to her for being angry.
We had a great Easter dinner and I got to say grace. Mom, Dad, David and his girlfriend Ruby joined our family. I grilled up a little feast. In the afternoon we cracked cascarones and the kids had an Easter andy hunt (Christie didn't have eggs).
In the evening I watched a movie called "In the Beginning". I saw the story of Joseph who was sold to slavery by his brothers but in the end forgave them. This was such a powerful story of forgiveness that I had never understood before. I saw the lesson that one can forgive others no matter how grevious the offense only if one focuses on the will of God and sees that sin is an illness.
We got off to church early and when we arrived I was apprehensive of being too early. Bobby ran ahead of me around the corner to the entrance of the Church and when I came around Fr. James had caught him in his arms. Fr. Oliver, retired from St. Catherine's was our celebrant.
I got angry at Christie for not finishing the job of cleaning the house for our Easter dinner. I had to clean when I came home from Church.
I got angry at Christie for not finishing the job of shopping last night for our Easter dinner. I had to run to the only store open and buy several items, it was very crowded.
I thought about how these are the same things that I always get angry for at her. I thought about how this is the cross I have to bear. I thought of how peace of mind can be resurrected at any time if I just forgive. I made amends to her for being angry.
We had a great Easter dinner and I got to say grace. Mom, Dad, David and his girlfriend Ruby joined our family. I grilled up a little feast. In the afternoon we cracked cascarones and the kids had an Easter andy hunt (Christie didn't have eggs).
In the evening I watched a movie called "In the Beginning". I saw the story of Joseph who was sold to slavery by his brothers but in the end forgave them. This was such a powerful story of forgiveness that I had never understood before. I saw the lesson that one can forgive others no matter how grevious the offense only if one focuses on the will of God and sees that sin is an illness.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
This morning we got outside early. I cleaned up the garage and did yard work in preparation for Easter SUnday dinner tomorrow here at our home. I was pretty tired by afternoon and took a short nap while Christie and Bobby went to Stepping Stones.
Today was the 5th Birthday Party for Stepping Stones. I wished i could have helped more but we have our hands full with our family. I went there a little after 5 o'clock, Christie took Ivan and Eva around 4:30. Everyone was havin a great time eating barbecue, playing horseshoes, washers, badminton, and volleyball.
There were lots of folks I hadn't seen in a while and I felt sociable within a short time. A couple of times I got to talk to people who are struggling or that have family members struggling. I got to share a story about my struggles when our group got started.
The posterboard we made up a few years back was on the wall and it had the original yellow flyer for the first meeting. The original phone list was on the wall also and I noticed that it had my name on it. The funny thing about it was that I was not sober at the time it was made. I had been relapsing for a few months when it was made. I had tried to come back in several times and just could not stay clean. It got to the point where I was too ashamed and proud to come back to the same meetings.
my wife however kept working her program and stayed involved in the fellowship. One day I saw the bright yellow flyer for a new meeting on our table. I thought that no one would know me at that meeting so I could go try and get sober there.
When I got to the door the meeting was already getting started. I looked in and it was all the people I did not want to see me and I froze. Someone saw and welcomed me in. As I walked across the room my legs felt like rubber. I did not feel sociable at all and many people were greeting me. I stayed sober for 6 months again and relapsed one more time and then got sober and stayed sober. I am 4 1/2 years sober now and Stepping Stones is 5 years old. This group is a great part of my recovery.
Tonight I got angry at my wife for waiting until 8 o'clock to feed the kids.
After dinner and baths we watched the Holy Sunday mass from the National Shrine. During the rite of renewal of baptism I lit one of the baptismal candles and we renewed our baptismal vows together as a family.
Today was the 5th Birthday Party for Stepping Stones. I wished i could have helped more but we have our hands full with our family. I went there a little after 5 o'clock, Christie took Ivan and Eva around 4:30. Everyone was havin a great time eating barbecue, playing horseshoes, washers, badminton, and volleyball.
There were lots of folks I hadn't seen in a while and I felt sociable within a short time. A couple of times I got to talk to people who are struggling or that have family members struggling. I got to share a story about my struggles when our group got started.
The posterboard we made up a few years back was on the wall and it had the original yellow flyer for the first meeting. The original phone list was on the wall also and I noticed that it had my name on it. The funny thing about it was that I was not sober at the time it was made. I had been relapsing for a few months when it was made. I had tried to come back in several times and just could not stay clean. It got to the point where I was too ashamed and proud to come back to the same meetings.
my wife however kept working her program and stayed involved in the fellowship. One day I saw the bright yellow flyer for a new meeting on our table. I thought that no one would know me at that meeting so I could go try and get sober there.
When I got to the door the meeting was already getting started. I looked in and it was all the people I did not want to see me and I froze. Someone saw and welcomed me in. As I walked across the room my legs felt like rubber. I did not feel sociable at all and many people were greeting me. I stayed sober for 6 months again and relapsed one more time and then got sober and stayed sober. I am 4 1/2 years sober now and Stepping Stones is 5 years old. This group is a great part of my recovery.
Tonight I got angry at my wife for waiting until 8 o'clock to feed the kids.
After dinner and baths we watched the Holy Sunday mass from the National Shrine. During the rite of renewal of baptism I lit one of the baptismal candles and we renewed our baptismal vows together as a family.
Friday, March 21, 2008
As to two of you men, whose stories I have heard, there is no doubt in my mind that you were 100% hopeless, apart from divine help.
The great alternative is that with Divine Help I am 100% hope full. That means that I can have the same outlook in life that I would have had if my condition had never happened.
Tonight at the meeting we read the story Gratitude In Action. There were some very synchronous moments for several people in the room. Martinez who is the speaker for tomorrow's Birthday Celebration read:
I believe it would be good to tell the story of my life...
In the middle of the story a paragraph started with:
On Easter weekend 1944...
This weekend is Easter weekend.
The story spoke of starting a new meeting.
The story told of how important geting the Big Book was for him.
The story told of not having much work but of getting work through the fellowship.
The rotation of reading ended on me. I got to read the following:
Today I have found again the home I left and the woman I married when she was still so young. We have two more children and they think there dad is an important man. I have all these wonderful things-people who mean more to me than anything in the world. I shall keep all that, and I won't have to drink, if I remember one simple thing: to keep my hand in the hand of God.
AMEN!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Today is Holy Thursday. I regret that I didn't make a greater effort to observe the masses of the Easter Triduum.
At noon I went to the Central Group meeting. We read the last two pages of step one and all of Tradition One. The tradition was just too relevant to what happened last Friday. It didn't matter whether I was right or the other guy was right. What matters is that I let it go and don't try to control teh conscience of teh group or what people think. I don't have to try and change anything or to get on a soapbox or influence people one on one. I just have to continue to be a good member of the group and do my own program. Our unity comes from personal recovery and group purpose.
This morning I thought of my old way of life as my old world view. It was not just my old way of living that was the problem but the vacancy of life as I used to see it. My outlook used to be that life's a bitch and then you die. Today life is a dance if you just take the steps.
Today i found out that my water heater has a poor design and we can't get the part to repair it until we apply for benefits of a class action lawsuit. That means we have no hot water for weeks or buy a new water heater. I tried rigging up a part that I bought that doesn't fit and it worked long enough for us all to take a warm shower.
Before that we all went to the park and had a great time on the first day of spring.
At noon I went to the Central Group meeting. We read the last two pages of step one and all of Tradition One. The tradition was just too relevant to what happened last Friday. It didn't matter whether I was right or the other guy was right. What matters is that I let it go and don't try to control teh conscience of teh group or what people think. I don't have to try and change anything or to get on a soapbox or influence people one on one. I just have to continue to be a good member of the group and do my own program. Our unity comes from personal recovery and group purpose.
This morning I thought of my old way of life as my old world view. It was not just my old way of living that was the problem but the vacancy of life as I used to see it. My outlook used to be that life's a bitch and then you die. Today life is a dance if you just take the steps.
Today i found out that my water heater has a poor design and we can't get the part to repair it until we apply for benefits of a class action lawsuit. That means we have no hot water for weeks or buy a new water heater. I tried rigging up a part that I bought that doesn't fit and it worked long enough for us all to take a warm shower.
Before that we all went to the park and had a great time on the first day of spring.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Today I had a good day at work.
I handled a prospect call in the early part of the morning that took a long time. I hope that this helps our company but I mostly just need to focus on the principle of being helpful rather than relying on a return from this one event. Perhaps I should also take this attitude when speaking to them.
Despite a long setback and a large volume of work I was able to keep up.
I went to the noon meeting and we read out of More about alcoholism. We read about insanity and the jaywalker. I shared simply and concisely.
Tonight my wife was very irritable.
I must take my own inventory.
Our water heater is broken so must take a cold shower.
I handled a prospect call in the early part of the morning that took a long time. I hope that this helps our company but I mostly just need to focus on the principle of being helpful rather than relying on a return from this one event. Perhaps I should also take this attitude when speaking to them.
Despite a long setback and a large volume of work I was able to keep up.
I went to the noon meeting and we read out of More about alcoholism. We read about insanity and the jaywalker. I shared simply and concisely.
Tonight my wife was very irritable.
I must take my own inventory.
Our water heater is broken so must take a cold shower.