Last night at the company celebration i had a moment where I realized just how easy it would be to accidentally drink.

Tonight at or meeting we read Our Southern Friend from the personal stories. A friend came into the meeting hurting. He had drank last night.

I am grateful for willingness to seek God today.

I had several streams of thought over the past week that I wish I could get back. I have these moments when a sequence of thoughts that I have been struggling to compose or express finally come together.

I think a recent thought was about forming simple statements to outline spiritual principles.

Yesterday i was listening to a debate over miraculous apparitions. Part of the validation process was the presence of extraordinary spectacles like the dancing sun. I observed today that faith based on these types miracles is weaker than faith based on practical application.

I went to the noon meeting. The reading was tradition 3 in the 12x12. I thought about AA's singleness of purpose and AA's diversity. I considered that it is a paradox that AA does not exclude anyone but that AA has a single purpose that is required. I must not bring another problem or another solution, I must stick to that common problem and the common solution.

I shared that I love AA so much that I go to CA.

Three of us walked back to my building together one of us was celebrating 6 months. We talked about keeping first things first and how service work opportunities come. The guy with 6 months said he was happy that he could now go back and do service at the treatment center that he went to.

Today after work we had a company celebration at a pool hall a block from work. I had to tell my wife that I had to be there and that I forgot to remind her in recent days. I had a little fear but I had to make a decision. She was not happy about this and this just added to her ongoing aggravation. I went to the event but had to leave early and get home so that my wife could go to her meeting. I wanted to stay but didn't feel any remorse in coming home to my family.

I had a good evening with the kids but I feel lonely.

I am thankful for God as my constant companion and source of meaning in life.

I tried to write a review tonight but the baby started crying. I should have started this earlier but I got occupied watching a ballgame after baseball practice, baths and ironing.

It was a good day and I am grateful again.

I guess I need to make amends to my wife for not being patient, kind, tolerant and loving yesterday when we had an argument.

Today I didn't have any emotional disturbances and it was a routine day.

At noon we re-read the end of the chapter on step 3 again. I came in late and realized they must not have known we finished that chapter last week. It was good for me to read that again. I thought about how step 3 is a resolute commitment.

This evening I remembered some of my feelings not so long ago. I remembered wishing for a day when I would wake up early in the morning, on time, without a hangover and go to work at a decent, clean, low stress, job. I dreamed of not being in trouble with my attendance and not feeling like I might get called in to the bosses office at any moment. I dreamed of having a decent vehicle with a working air conditioner to ride home comfortably. I wished for a day when I didn't have the weight of my troubles on my shoulders and my thought life would be filled with serenity and inspiration. I fancied being able to stand up honestly and face any troubles as roadbumps rather than insurmountable chasms. I longed for a loving home and a nice little dinner with my wife and kids in the evening and getting some yardwork done and going for bike ride with my son.

Today I got to live that day. Thank you God.

This morning I thought about the decision part of step 3. I think what is important here is making a solid committment to do God's will without question and with great resolve. The reason for this is because I will forget why I am doing this. I must have the resolve to trudge through my mental blank spots, periods of unwillingness, and trials of faith.

Yesterday I got to go to church with only my oldest son. We didn't have to sit in the cry room and we got to sit in the third row. My son was much better behaved than ever before.

Yesterday I went on an errand to buy a used TV. We had to carry the TV and it was very heavy and we had to carry it through an awkward tight spot. I m only writing this to remind myself that I had a busy Sunday morning. In thinking about yesterday I keep thinking it was a wasted day because I was so tired. But this is not true. It was a fruitful day of rest and regeneration. Most of all because of the union I was able to make with the Lord. But also because I needed the physical rest.

Last night my wife went to her meeting.

Today my wife got angry at me because our middle son didn't wake up on time. She blamed me for no getting to bed on time. I countered that it was because she didn't wake up in time. We got into an argument which I think I won. But I didn't win, I feel like a failure because I was not patient, kind, tolerant and loving.

At the noon meeting we read pages 64 - 66 about the resentment inventory.

'nuff said

This is the longest gap that I can ever remember between written evening reviews and not relapsing.

One night this week I had a dream that I was using and drinking. Another night I dreamed that I was watching someone else relapse. Thursday night I broke out in irritability.

Each night I was exhausted and busy with the kids until I passed out. I said prayers with the kids each night and myself as I fell asleep a couple of the nights.

The past few days have been very busy and very good. I have been graced with the fruits of sobriety and I am grateful. I just have to resolve to stay on track and not allow the good things in my life become more important than honesty about my condition, inner acceptance of the nature of the disease, willingness to continue to put God's Will first.

These past few days I have thought a lot about the practical application of spirituality. I thought that my greatest mission in life is to learn to speak about spirituality and God in non-religious terms but to speak the same truth. Today I thought about renaming my site something like practicalspirituality.org.

The past week I have caught myself being too competitive about my son's baseball. I realized that I have begun to have an expectation on him to perform well and to win. I realized that I have begun to rely on my instinct of competitiveness and it is interfering with my relationship with him. I asked for God's help to accept that he is very young and that he just wants to have fun.

Today he played well but they lost the game. I am grateful for the opportunity to be on the team with him. This afternoon we went for a long bike ride together.

Today was the beginning of the quarter which is a very busy time for me at work. But everything went ok.

Today I won twice at table tennis by using some of the fundamentals that I learned from teaching the kids to bat.

Yesterday I emailed the other coaches about our boys and I offered a suggestion for discipline. Two of the coaches emailed me back saying that it was outside of the scope of coaching. None of them seemed bothered by it but they weren't very receptive. It has been bothering me that they might be privately irritated. This is a fear that I must give to God.

Tonight we lost our game by one point. The coach and some parents and my wife were very upset about the umpire and talked about emailing the commisioner. I was grateful that I don't have to fix everything today.

Today the noon meeting was about tradition two. I got to share about my experience with the tradition when our group was divided over newcomer meeting and I managed to get a vote when many members weren't present and the big controversy over that. I also related the tradition to step three.