Today on the walk from work I felt discontent. I felt like all my life I have been close enough to the good life to know what it is but it eluded me just out of reach. As I drove home I realized that I was sinking deeper in to this mire of self-pity. I kept thinking of one thing after another that I was worried about. Then I realized that I had to come back to the moment.

I thought about what a joy it was to have a quiet moment in a nice little truck that worked well enough to give me a cool comfortable ride home on a beautiful spring day in lite traffic. I looked around at the people on the street and felt grateful that I have a wonderful family waiting for me at home and a comfortable house to live in.

Tonight I got to take a guy to a meeting and talk to him on the way home.

Today I still felt injured a little from my son's bike accident. Today I felt afraid for putting out some ideas at work. This afternoon I felt a little too disappointed for losing a table tennis. I felt too concerned that I didn't play a game as usual with the new guy at work. I was too concerned that a girl in the noon meeting who relapsed walked out right before I shared about relapse experience. I was too nervous about coaching in my son's baseball game tonight against the best team in the league.

I was grateful today that I get to ride bikes with my son.
I had some inspiration in my work and the confidence to propose ideas and acceptance if they aren't imposed.
I found youthfull ability in the sports interlude I had and I played better than ever.
I am grateful for the ability to have friends and care about them.
I got to carry the message to 2 newcomers in our meeting today.
In the beginning of our game I found serenity and confidence and went on to have a great time and perform well even though we lost.


After our game tonight the other teams coaches wife recognized my wife as they went through religious education together. Then the coach talked to me. He told me that we were the toughest team they played and I was able to relay this to our team.

Tonight my son asked me to hold him while my wife took out his stitches. My heart fills with joy that my son needs me to comfort him when he is afraid. I need God's comfort when I am afraid. My son made it through the stitch pulling and I made it through my fears today.

Thanks be to God.

Today I felt remorseful again that my son's friend is still rejecting him. Then I realized that they are just kids and I got over it. I still feel sad but I can just be grateful that my son is a caring son and that he has other friends and a good sense of self esteem.

I got to go to the noon meeting. there were new and non-committed people attending. I was grateful to hear my friend Jeff share about the promises.

I got to read the two paragraphs on page 85 about how not to relapse.

I got to watch the vespers service with the Holy Father at the Shrine of The Immaculate Conception tonight.

My son was enthusiastic about practicing tonight.

I got to play with the kids in our circle. My 2nd son is peddling his bike a lot better now. I realized tonight just how delayed he is and I was grateful for the efforts that my wife puts forth to get him therapy.

I love them all and I love her.

Thank you God.

I thought about practicalspirituality.com.
I thought about new terms for the moral inventory and step work.
I thought more of manufacturing production quality control.
Quality Control Testing
Re-Sync
Control Limits
Qualification Testing
Inventory of conduct

This morning I was very busy at work.

I had a meeting at noon so I took a short lunch and a walk. It was a beautiful day and I walked to the Cathedral a few blocks away. I found myself in a courtyard their in front of a statue of the Blessed Mother. There was something mesmerizing about the shape of the figure. I felt drawn in by Her. It began to look as if her shawl was flowing and her chest was breathing. I felt as i she were really there with me. It seemed like reality changed also and went into slow motion underwater dream state.

I prayed for her to send her angels to protect over my family.

In the moment I forgot about the meeting back at work and I was a few minutes late. The owner of the company asked me why I was late in a slightly accusatory manner.

After the meeting a friend offered me some advice to send my boss an email expressing my regret and commitment to work. I did so and my boss replied graciously.

Tonight we had a pleasant evening in the back yard and we watched programs about the Pope's visit to the US.

Tonight I should have been kinder to the kids.

I thought today about how harmful the sexual revolution has been in our society.

I havent' done a review in days.

I went to a noon meeting.

Work is very busy.

I feel remorseful about my son's bike accident.
I feel remorseful because the kid that was with us told him that he doesn't want to be his friend.

I feel grateful that we had a chance to talk about how we have to be patient with friends and how these things happen. My son told me about how his other friend always tells him he doesn't want to be his friend and then he comes back and is all cool later.

Our meeting today was about amends. I was inspired to think about the them in the following way:

5 reasons to make Amends

Clean up the Messes
Clear your Karma
Connect with Fellows
Communicate your condition
Compound your Humility

Vitalize Faith

This morning we went to the baseball field early. I wanted to give my son some time to watch a game before our game. We stopped at the store which was very unusual. I saw my friend, the last new guy that asked me to sponsor him and his son. I am stopping to call him now.

During our game today there were times when the coaches griped at each other. I was grateful that I have a way of life that has freed me from the need to conduct myself that way.

I am grateful that we had a great time today.

This afternoon my son and I went on a long bike ride. My son's friend went with us. We rode to a nearby school that has some long smooth sidewalks that go down a big hill to the front of the school. My son loves this place. He rode down the steepest sidewalk as fast as he could. I went down a sidewalk on the side and flew right in front of him. He got distracted by me and flew straight into the corner of a cinder block column. All I saw was his bike flip up in the air. He let out a blood curdling scream. I saw it happen in slow motion and was horrified.

As I slammed on my brakes I almost crashed myself. I braced myself for the worst. I expected the possibility of broken bones. I darted back and it was pretty bad. He had blood pouring down his faced from his head, his nose and his mouth. I imagend a shattered skull and internal bleeding. I thought of how in the movies when someone bleeds out of their mouth they die.

Fortunately it wasn't that bad. His friend saw what happened and went into shock and took off. I tried to stop him but had to attend to my son. As I comforted him and and wiped the blood and checked him I was in emotional turmoil. I felt so awful for him. Through it all he kept asking what happened to his friend.

He went to the hospital and got stitches. He didn't have a serious injury. I however am traumatized. I had to turn to God throughout this. I am grateful for his protection and his sustenance. I am ok but still processing the whole thing. I am angry at myself for not being more careful. My firend, my wife and my son told me it was not my fault. I am glad I have them to talk to.

Today I thought about the HOW, the HAC and he SAW. Honesty, Open Mindness and Willingness are often cited as the HOW of the program but I often think that you can't just make these things happen, they happen by Grace.

We need surrender, acceptance, whole heartedness.

We can use humility, ambition, and comprehension to achieve these also.