This morning I thought about faith and reason and science. I thought about them as three overlapping circles which intersect and compliment each other. I thought about how this is the current evolutionary step of mankind.

This morning I was concerned about not doing inventory 2 times this week. I took a quick assessment of my spiritual disciplines and then continued in meditation. Later in the morning in a thought filled moment I realized that waves of materialistic and judgemental thinking were lapping at my psychic doorstep.

This Thursday I got to go to the noon meeting and read about objections to the 4th step. I remembered how I didn't think I needed a moral inventory and how I couldn't see that it could possibly have anything to do with my sobriety. In looking at my reasons for drinking I just thought that I liked to party and that I wasn't trying to fill some need or drown my sorrows or drink to cope.

I made it through this day free from any resentments making me irritable.
I made it through this day without have feeling restless and thinking something was missing.
I made it through this day without having any emotional disturbance recur and foster discontent.

I got to go to the ballfield this evening and have practice with my son and accept his efforts, appreciate his successes, and enjoy our time together.

I didn't have to react to my wife's gripes and I looked at my own selfishness.

I got to have another sober day full of joy and peace with friends at work and at home.

Thanks be to God.

I almost didn't go to the noon meeting today. If I hadn't gone then I wouldn't have heard a guy say that he really appreciates the dedication of those of us who come regularly. I didn't get to share but I am kinda grateful because I got to focus on what I heard.

This afternoon when I walked out of our building a guy called out my name at the bus stop. He said that he had just got out of the rehab and he remembered me. I regret that I didn't ask him his name.

This evening I got to go to my son's baseball game. When I got there I was disappointed in a few things:
The head coach was just making the lineup.
The assistant coach drew the batter's box wrong.
There were no other assistants there getting the kids warmed up.
I had to get batting warmups going and they had no intention of doing them.
The coach didn't have anyone ready to run the scoreboard box.
The pitching coach makes the boys take the first pitch which wastes a pitch.

My Dad came to the game and he stood next to the dugout grumbling about the poor coaching. I had to chase the kids and I too got irritated at the lack of preparation.

After the game we had dinner with my folks. When they left I went out and talked to my apart from the kids and told him that I agreed with him about the poor coaching and I went through the laundry list of criticisms of them. This just fed my Dad's resentment.

Afterward I felt remorseful. I felt that I had done exactly what I heard Fr. Barron talking about last night, I had slandered. I had borne false witness. I had spoke critically about the coaches behind their back. This is dishonest because I would not say this to them directly.

Afterward I thought about I need to work on doing more to help rather than just criticize. I need to get there early and line up the boys for warmups. I need to learn how to use the scoring box. I need to offer to do a lineup.

I need to be grateful that my son gets to play ball and that men are willing to coach. I should have a forgiving and grateful spirit and build them up rather than knock them down.

A woman approached me at the ballgame and said that she knew me from a meeting. I should have asked how she was doing in sobriety. But I didn't I guess as a matter of boundaries.

Thanks be to God for a good day.

This morning we got off to a good reasonably early start and we made it to mass on time. The kids were reasonably well behaved and my wife never got too upset with them. During the mass our priest announced that the lady who was scheduled to lead the children's liturgy of the word had called in sick. The children had already started to gather. a lady stepped up to lead and my wife and the little ones went to help.

Our priests were in great spirits and joked and went along with the shortcomings of the staff and gave a great liturgy. The reading was about Jesus healing the blind man. Our priest gave an excellent homily about minimalization, denial, spiritual blindness and divine inspiration.

I got to go to the Rehab center for the meeting. I was there right on the hour and had to get the meeting started. Two other regulars showed up but no one else from my home group. We on the panel gave good talks and the guys there shared some good stuff. Afterward I got to meet with a guy who is willing to do the work and is surrendered in enough critical areas to move through the work at a decent pace.

This afternoon we got to have a nice hamburger cookout with my Dad and Mom and played washers and talked about my childhood and when I payed baseball.

Thanks be to God for a great day.

This morning my wife had a garage sale so I was alone with the kids until 3:00. By the end of the day I was pretty irritable.

We had a good morning and we had a pancake breakfast and the kids watched their religious cartoons. They played with me and they played in the sandbox. My oldest son played with his friends.

I had a bad dream last night that my middle son got lost at a fishing camp down by a river. I was grateful to see him in the morning.


I also woke up in the middle of the night and felt sick achey. At mid morning I felt this way again. I was grateful that by late afternoon I felt better.

I really wanted to go to confession today but I didn't. I felt bad about this.

I got to take my son for some batting practice. I was very grateful that he is so enthusiactic these days. He really likes to practice and he stays focused and follows directions. I couldn't pitch very well but when I threw them good he hit 'em.

I got to go to a meeting tonight. The topic was job or no job, wife or no wife we simply do not recover unless we put dependence upon God instead of dependence upon people.

Thanks be to God for the o blessings I have received today.

Today I had to cover for a guy who is out at work and I had to paddle hard to keep my head above water. I was worried about dropping something through the cracks or getting behind.

At noon I took a walk down the street where the music festival is going on. I stopped and listened to a great band. I almost stayed outside and walked instead of going to my meeting but I chose to go. There were some people there that I had never seen including some here for the festival.

This evening I took my son to baseball practice. I found myself in disagreement with some lack of organization and I got angry when my son was moved from first base and a kid that was not as good was put there. I found myself think judgmentally about the kid's skills and initiative and physical shortcomings compared to mine. I also found myself gloating. I had to turn away from that thinking and do what God would have me do and just be as helpful that kid as possible and also to the team and coaches. I found myself to be deeply grateful for the son that I have and the wife who takes great care for him and didn't let him be obese.

Thanks be to God for a wonderful day and a great life.

Last night I dreamed of a beast. I dreamed that I was hunting for deer with a guide. We were staked by a river to take advantage of a path where the animals came on shore. We saw one pass but it was not adequate. A very large one emerged but it rushed out aggressively as if it knew we were there and intended to stalk us. I jumped out of the water so fast that the guide could not draw a bead for a shot. Then it circled back around us and trapped us against the water.

Just when I got panicked a guy emerged from a different direction and challenged the beast to take him. It went for the bait and ran past us. As it ran past I saw that it was a huge tiger not a deer. The guide and I ran up some stairs and into a house that appeared and slammed the door behind us. We immediately realized that we needed to help the guy outside so we opened the door and started yelling to distract the tiger. It worked and the tiger looked at us.

But the guy was so intent on taming the tiger that he didn't take his opportunity to run into the house. He looked at us like we were still in danger. Then the tiger pounced on him. It was horrifying, I saw him duck out of the way but the tiger had him by the foot and was mauling him. I had to turn away.

Today I was anxious about keeping up at my job.
Today I was thinking too much about how good I looked.
Today I was worried about our finances.

At lunch I got to go to our meeting. We spoke about tradition three. I talked about how I couldn't identify as an alcoholic but thank Go that the only requirement was that I had a desire to quit drinking. I was there because I needed to quit drinking to stop using drugs. Later when I got a better understanding of alcoholism, I broke through some denial, and I gained back some memories, I was able to admit that I was an alcoholic.

In admitting the common problem of alcoholic addiction I found unity with people that I otherwise might not mix with. But then in the spiritual solution to an unmanageable life I found unity with the whole world.

last night my wife was very sick. Today she was much better, thanks be to God.

This evening I got to take my son to baseball practice. We went for ice cream afterward. At home I got to play with the babies and throw a ball with son #2. Then we watched the final innings of USA vs. PR and USA pulled it out in the bottom of the ninth.

Thank you God for a great day.