This morning was very cool in the 30's which is just awesome for early April. It gives me hope that the heat will not arrive too soon.

I got to go to the noon meeting today our reading was on step 5. I thought about how step 5 is a lot like step 1 in that it addresses my denial except it addresses my moral denial rather than my addiction denial.

In the afternoon I received a reprimand at work. Afterward I was resentful at the demands and expectations of people. I thought about how this stems from my fear of losing credibility. I am too dependent on what people think of me. I was afraid of losing my job. I am not trusting enough in God in the event the worst would happen. Neither of these consequences is probably imminent but I fear them irrationally.

I got to go to my son's practice. I found that our coach complained to the commissioner about the games on Good Friday. I felt like a heel for griping at my wife for writing a letter. I feel remorseful that I didn't stand up for my faith more. I made amends with my wife about it. Later I found that the games have been postponed. I am going to mass.

I looked at some pics of my son playing t-ball and reminisced.

Thanks be to God.

Today I started tbe day feeling very inspireed and grateful.

It was a very busy workday and I struggled to keep up.

I got to go to a meeting at noon.

When I got back I found that I had missed an important task. In the afternoon I had to write a "why did you mess up" message.

I ended the workday afraid and resentful. I the way home I prayed with a lot of resolve and everything shifted into perspective. Tonight I find myself needing to do it again.

In the evening I got to do some light practice with son #1 and throw some balls with son #2.

My wife was irritable wit me tonight. She was also mad about our baseball schedule and emailed the commissioner. I griped at her about this for reacting too quickly. Then I realized that I did the same.

I had to just stop.

I was grateful today for the good time I had with my sons and Dad yesterday.
I was grateful that I wasn't sleeping out in the cold like a guy that I saw in the morning.
I was grateful that my son takes car of our kids.

Thanks be to God.

This morning I made it to the early mass with the boys. Today was Palm Sunday. I got very moved during the re-enactment of the passion. Something was read that struck me as a different understanding but I can't recall it now. I had my collar flipped up on one side and my fly open, I was embarrassed. It was a great mass and the boys and I got to make crosses out of the palm fronds.

I got to spend some time with my parents at noon today. I finally found some words to concisely express how I think that the reason why I and my nieces and other family members have had life crises when we were separated from God and how this started because it is so difficult to reconcile science, materialism, and faith. And I explained that I have hope because I have found my own reconciliation of these perspectives that I can pass on to my children.

In the afternoon my sons and my dad and I went to a minor league baseball game. It was beautiful, breezy, crisp, and bright. It was perfect weather. My dad got a little grouchy when we got a bit of a late start especially after sitting around for an hour. I realized that I still react a little strongly to his moods. I sought God's help to get out of it. We had a great time and my father wants to go again.

Thanks be to God for a great day.

I love this season, this is what I dream of all year. The mornings are cool and the days are not too hot.

This morning I got up on time prayed and made pancakes for the kids and me. I thank God for the resourcefulness to get a system down.

I got to watch the parable of the pharisee and the tax collector. The I got to watch Jesus give the sermon on the mount and tell the parable of the two brothers.

My son had a baseball game at 11:0O AM. Two of the coaches were there but they were busy getting the field ready. I had to get the boys going on throwing warmup until the other coaches arrived. The other coaches did not support doing any batting warmup like I wanted to. I exited the field and went to the bleachers as they took over. They were not very organized and the other team's were. Our coaches didn't get our team on the field to do infield warmups and the other team's coaches seemed to look on critically as I was. I did my best to turn away from my resentment and fear that our boys would get creamed. I found some tactful words to suggest the infield warmups and it moved them into action.

The boys had a great game and won.

In the afternoon I got to do some stepwork over the phone with a sponsee. I am grateful for the intuition that God has blessed me with to get someone through this work. I have discerned out that I should guide the men to learn how to do the inventory more than analyze every item. I should focus them on drilling down to the basic instincts and the fear behind the malady. I should help them see how to extract there harms to others for amends and help them learn to forgive based on the concept of spiritual sickness.

I got to visit with my mom and dad and my wife had a good evening job.

Thanks be to God.

This morning I was driving to work through downtown when my thoughts turned to my experience yesterday when the jail shuttle bus was passing by. As I thought about this I realized that I was stopped (for a red light) at the very corner where this happened. I looked up and thought about what street corner this wa s and I looked at the street signs and it was 7th and Brazos. I immediately thought about the seven deadly sins and the outstretched arms (brazos) of Christ on the Cross.

I thought about a lot of spiritual ideals this morning that I wish I could recall now but I do recall a moment when I was taking a drink of water from a glass and I looked at the water. The water suddenly looked very striking and I felt a deeper, greater sense of quenching than usual. I just stopped there looking at the water as it shimmered and vibrated. I thought about how I take cool, clean water for granted. I thought about the spiritual water.

At noon I got to go to the meeting, we read about the man who mastered fear.

Thanks be to God.

This Thursday morning I woke up from a dream that I was having an affair. I don't like these dreams and this one was particuarly disturbing because it was long and detailed.

I wondered if I had missed a spiritual step that resulted in this disturbance and I immediately connected this to the missed inventory and prayer Thursday night.

I took inventory at mid morning. I realized that although I had a great day yesterday in which I had received blessings and graces from God I had moments when I had been afraid, resentful, and selfish where I could have done better.

I got to go to the noon meeting, we talked about tradition 4 and step 5. I made a connection between the two in the principle of humility in a pragmatic sense.

On the way back to work the shuttle bus to the county jail passed by and I had a moment of deep gratitude.

We had a huge problem at work today that set me way behind. At the end of the day I was furiously trying to get out of work to get my son to baseball practice early.

A customer called me and asked if I had time for several questions. I was immediately afraid and resentful that I wouldn't get out on time. The call went longer than I expected on top of that. I resolved to turn away from my resentment and be gracious. I turned to God afterward for acceptance. I made it out of work on time.

I made it to the ballfield early and it was a good thing because the fields were packed and another team tried to take our field.

Yesterday I started out the day with the scripture reading but I stumbled on to the wrong date, I read March 23rd for some reason. The theme seemed synchronous with the current reading and they seemed to be what I needed to read although I don't recall why that was now. It might have been about being saved and giving witness to that.

Yesterday was a busy day at work with the change of quarter. I am grateful that I didn't step on any mines.

I didn't get to go to the noon meeting but it was probably for the best as we were very busy.

In the afternoon i learned that my sister. neice, my brother in law, and my parents were visiting for dinner. I had to come home and do some furious cleaning. During this, I had to resist the impulse to get resentful at my wife and to generally feel sorry for my self. Some ideas to give her "feedback" came to mind but I was able to choose not to. Thanks be to God for the help.

Everything came together except that my wife had to make a difficult choice of whether or not to attend a Parish Ministries Council meeting. I advised her to attend because she is just getting established and we had no notice of the visit.

We had a good visit but we missed my wife.

At the end of the day I was too exhausted to journal my day, but I thank God now.