This Sunday morning we went to early mass so that my wife could fill in for the children's liturgy class.  There has not been anyone to do the early mass so I was grateful for this opportunity.  I was glad that we were able to get up and make it on time.

After mass I tried to find out if my friend was ok but could not.  I did find out that he threatened to hurt me if I was sent to him.  I had selfish thoughts about how this affects me.

In the afternoon I spent some time practice throwing and catching a soft ball with my youngest son. Being autistic he has a physical coordination issues and can not catch a fly ball.  I need to do this more regularly with him.

In the evening I got to go to a meeting.  We read "To Employers" from the Big Book.  The thing I saw the most was how critical it is to understand the disease concept and to differentiate this from a bad habit.  I saw that the greatest struggle was in treating this problem like other problems and not understanding how willpower and standard approaches do not work for real alcoholism.  I saw how it was important not to neglect the problem.

Thanks be to God.

This morning my wife and I woke up extra early and set up a garage sale.  I was just as much in support of this was as she was.  But as we went about setting up I fell into an old pattern of thinking in which my attitude shifted to criticism.  Then a neighbor backed into her van which was parked across the street from his house.  I immediately blamed my wife.  Fortunately I resisted getting angry about this and turned my thoughts to acceptance.  I tried to remember that in accordance with God's will it was my duty to be a supportive husband.  I tried to think of it as an unfortunate little bump in the car which the insurance will cover.

The garage sale went well and we made a little money to help pay the bills.  Thanks be to God.

This afternoon I began to be aware of a tragic situation, a good friend of mine may have relapsed.  This should have been around the time of his 8th year anniversary of sobriety.

Several times over the past few days I have noticed small moments of perforations in my faith.  Times when I sensed in my mind the idea of thinking about recovery from character defects in purely biological terms.  I found much security and comfort when I sought and received revival of belief.

I got to go to a meeting tonight.  we talked about the personal examination and breaking our demands and dependencies.

On the way home I thought about whether I should go and pay a surprise visit to my friend.  I sought God's will and felt an intuition to go but didn't act on that.  I questioned myself later and then remembered where the Big Book says "Don't deal with him when he is very drunk, unless he is ugly and the family needs your help. Wait for the end of the spree, or at least for a lucid interval."

Thanks be to God.

This Friday was the last day of summer camps and the last day that I have any school work, thanks be to God.  I look forward to this week and a little vacation before school starts.

After dropping the kids off I had an errand to run and took the circuitous route through the country.   It was a nice interlude. I was grateful to be approved for childcare assistance for the fall.

I got my oldest son to do chores to earn media time.  I need to stick to this strategy.

At mid day I found out that a good friend of mine got sick on vacation and upon returning home founbd that his home had been broken into.  I pray that he and his family will be ok.

It was a peaceful and routine afternoon.  I practiced baseball a little with the kids.

I didn't get to go to a twelve step meeting

This Thursday morning it was nice to wake up and have finals behind me.  I felt stress less

Today was a routine day except that I had to take my last final for the summer.  I think I did good, but I didn't feel as prepared as I would like.  It's my own fault, I haven't been as disciplined as I should at studying.  But I was grateful to get it done.

I thought about going to a meeting afterward but decided that it would be more helpful to come home.  It was good that I did as my wife was napping and I was able to pick up the kids.

In the evening my wife griped at me for taking a side trip to the thrift store.  I had to resist laying on the matrimonial correction.

I got to visit with my mom this morning and we talked about how stress affects my dad's health.

I got to watch some little league world series with my boys.

Thanks be to God.

This Tuesday I mostly did school work all day.  It was difficult as my youngest daughter has gotten extremely engaging and wanted to do things all day.  I am grateful for the time we get together.

In doing my math work I learned about the difference between an acute angle and an obtuse angle.  It occurred to me that this corresponds to the concept of acute alcoholism and chronic alcoholism.  I imagined that my life is the ray starting at the vertex of my life and headed towards the goal?  When I engaged in heavy drinking the angel changed from going straight to the goal to a downward angle but still in the generally same direction.  As my alcoholism progressed, the angle got more and more pronounced until eventually it was headed in the opposite direction and became obtuse.

In the afternoon I set the kids up with a big sprinkler party in the back yard.

It was a good day.

Thanks be to God.

This Sunday morning the kids and wife were still at the coast.  I was disappointed that my wife didn't make sure that they made it to mass somehow.  I just had to accept it and consider that I should be more assertive about this next time.

We were blessed to have Fr. Charlie Van Winkle preach for us.  He talked about his Faith-Love Principle or FLP. This is a simple way of calling on the name of Jesus the minute that we begin to entertain sinful thoughts.  Without going into detail I thought this was particularly appropriate for me.

I struggled to get focused on school work but was very happy to get some done.

I was very happy to see my family home in the afternoon.  I got to walk with the kids to the park in the late afternoon.

I thought a lot this day about the blessing of carrying the message of recovery to others.  I thought of a new outline to tell mys story, citing the major attempts to get sober, the way that my orientation to the material and aversion to the spiritual was my persistent obstrucle, and then cite one-by-one, the blessings of recovery.

Thanks be to God.