This Monday morning I had my truck towed to the shop to be repaired. After that I took the girls on a walk to the park. Their was a young boy their with his father and it was very cute to watch them pretend they were on the bus on the playscape and do a puppet show. My youngest daughter pretended to be a marionette.

Around noon I got a call that my truck was fixed. I was blown away that it was just a minor problem and I was very grateful that my friend the mechanic got it done so quickly. I was so blessed to have avoided a much more significant problem.

My wife and I took the girls to lunch at a fast food place that turned out to be very good. Again I was very grateful for our blessings.

I got to talk to my friend who is going through problems in recovery. He asked me to do a favor for him. I looked in his eyes and saw the ravages of physical and psychological trauma. I was again very grateful.

Later in the day I became worried that I am not getting enough done study wise. But looking back at the day I realize just how fortunate I am.

Thanks be to God.

This morning my truck was towed to the shop, it is broken down. I thought about how we know about and attend to vehicle maintenanca and house keeping and even our physical health but we don,t know a thing about our psychic or spiritual makeup or health.

Generosity, self-denial, and forgiveness, these are the virtues against self-centeredness.

This morning we woke up on schedule and had the easiest time preparing for mass that I can remember for a long time.  It was a good thing too because my wife ad to do the children's liturgy and it was a difficult gospel in which Jesus says that if you wish to follow Him you must hate your mother and father and your own life and renounce all your possessions.

I was very inspired by the first reading in which the message is about the impossibility for man to understand or completely grasp the scope of God's will.

I got to spend some time with my parents today.  I got to talk to a good friend today.  I got to talk to a sponsee today.

Thanks be to God.

This Saturday morning we went to a Bicycle Rodeo at my son's elementary school in our neighborhood.  I wanted to get up early and make it their on time so as not to miss anything and to ensure that my kids got to participate.  I envisioned us all riding their with the little ones in the bike trailer.

When I woke up I had to go to the store because we didn't have enough of the breakfast foods that I had bought the day before.  I blamed my wife for letting my son eat them.  But I also let him eat some first.

When I got back we had to rush to get to the event.  As we all got dressed and ready and unready, it began to get chaotic and tense.  Outside I had to get bikes ready and I couldn't find the air pump and the kids were on their bikes riding out of sight and my wife was inside.  When she came outside we bickered, and tripped over each others intentions, culminating with me accidentally pinching my daughter's neck with the chin strap of her helmet making her cry.  I blamed my wife for sleeping late and making us rushed.

Undaunted, we made it to the bike rodeo and all had a great time.  The kids really enjoyed going through the course and getting stickers and eating doughnuts.   It was cute to see my youngest daughter determinedly following her brother on the course.  I was proud of seeing my autistic son proficiently navigating the course at 5 years old.  I was disappointed at my wife for running off to the car and blamed her that I could not follow him and take pictures.  I was most proud when he loaned his bike to another kid his size to go through the course.

After lunch we were all tired and rested.  I was very worried that I wasn't getting homework done.  Then there was a UT football game and I felt neglectful for sitting and watching it with the boys.  Partway through I got up and cleaned up and attended to my truck and practiced baseball with the younger kids.  At one point my youngest daughter was harassing me to push her on the swing and I asked my wife to deal with her implying that she was not helping me.

Later I talked to a sponsee that I picked up yesterday.  As I spoke to him about relationship issues felt that he needed guidance to escape a self-centered, fault-finding perspective.  During this I realized that this is me.  I am self-centered and fault-finding with my wife.  Regardless of whether or not she behaves well, I must set aside my expectations and demands.   I must love and appreciate and value God so much that I am willing to love, appreciate, and value her unconditionally and realize how lucky I am to have a good woman who lives by the same values as me.

In the evening I got to go to a meeting.  We talked about step 3, understanding what faith means, and grasping it's implication for our lives.

Thanks be to God.

This  morning I started the day worried about a math assessment that I failed to adequately prepare for.  My wife was helpful in making allowances for me to get their in the best frame of mind possible and in trying to visualize a positive outcome.  I didn't believe that just wishing it would make it so but her words did help me to have a positive attitude.  In the end, I did not pass the test.  I did however, feel that I can pass the test if I were better prepared and I know what areas to target.   I don't see how I will find the time, but I will need to try.  I had to rely on God to overcome my feelings of disappointment and doubt.

I got spend some time attending to the problems with my truck.   It was kinda cool to get under the hood and troubleshoot it and work through the problems with a more functional mind than I recall from ever before.  I felt a great sense of confidence from this even though I sensed that the problems might not be permanently fixed.

Tonight I got to tell my addiction recovery story at the CA group that was my first home group.  I did good at turning away from anxiety during the day and then again on the way there and outside the meeting hall.  I thought a lot about humility this week and caught myself needing it.  Strangely it was this thought that relieved my anxieties a few times.  I had to pray that God remove my fears and I had to quit running through it in my mind and just relax and be in the moment.  As the time approached my heart raced and I forgot how to transition through the first segment but it came to me during the 2 minute meditation.

I was a little disappointed that I forgot a couple of things and I seemed to go a little long but all in all I stayed on track and covered the three main bases, what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now.  I got chills at one point talking about crossing onto "Brazos", the loving arms of God.

I love the feeling afterward when you get away from the crowd and you drive home and your imagination is fired and you think of things to say that will make it better next time.  Several people gave thanks and so do I.

Thanks be to God.

This morning when I woke up I found myself thinking ahead to the day ahead and to tomorrow and all over the place.  I had to stop and make a concerted effort to come back to the present.  The rest of the day I was able to stay in the place where I was at.

When I got to my first class I presented the work I had done to the small group of my class mates assigned to review one of the stages of human development.  I found myself having to make an effort to resist a prideful attitude.  I was grateful for the awareness of this because  when my class mates started talking and the professor began giving her analysis I realized that I lacked understanding and missed some key concepts.  I then had to resist letting it bother me.

I arrived early for my next class and ran into some classmates in the lounge.  We had an interesting conversation with one asking questions about counseling.  During the conversation the other guy broke out into his story.  He was talking loudly and I saw people all around looking and listening.  I felt bad for the guy and saw how important it is to go to meetings and get to share this appropriately.

This evening I briefly spoke to my friend who is going through a crisis.  He called me at a very busy time and asked me to unlock the 12 step club.  I wish that I would have been able to speak to him more but it was good to hear his voice.

Thanks be to God.

This morning I woke up and got started in a decent state.  I helped get the kids off to school and I went to class.

At class we had a lively discussion about who is the worthy poor and the unworthy poor. I was grateful for the opportunity to discuss this because

The discussion digressed into a debate over what is enabling of addicts and alcoholics and about whether the professor is doing so with his son.  He used his experience with sending him to La Hacienda multiple times and how this is sending him off to a resort.  I thought that I was listening to my wife describe it.

After class I sat at the smoking table where a discussion ensued about each person's ideas and experiences with what approach to addiction treatment is best.  I had to exercise patience and let people talk and not try to resolve every perspective.

When I made it home a TV program caught my attention.  It was a made for TV movie about Saint Marie-Bernarde Soubirous.  The principle character was a doctor named Henri Guillomet who met Bernadette and who's wife was miraculously healed of her consumption.  What caught my attention was a discussion between the Doctor and his students about miracles and science.  In the movie the doctor was a student of Jean-Martin Charcot who sought to convince the doctor that the miracle was a form of hypnosis.  This was only significant to me because my professor spoke about Charcot recently in class.