“The Kingdom of heaven is like a net thrown into the sea,
which collects fish of every kind."

Today I found an atheist web site that made windy arguments based on the typical presumptions of a cursory understanding of faith. As I went down the list I recalled how my perspective was once just like them. But more importantly I was astounded at how there were none that defied practical rebuttal that didn't depend on writings or language or reason that someone with a truly open mind might not concede were plausible.

I even found elements of the site to be inspirational in edification of my own faith.

I read that Albert Einstein stated that the Bible was "honorable and primitive" and I realized that I had found the description that I had always looked for in primitive. I thought of how God in nurturing our development might have conceded that we were honorable enough to save and that this would require his intercession at some point. So, wanting to help us as early in our development as possible but close enough to our maturation to be relevant he revealed himself in this primitive time.

"Can I not do to you, house of Israel, as this potter has done? says the LORD.
Indeed, like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, house of Israel."

I identified with the contentions of the website author and I recognized his need to find a universal code by which to live and be free. But I recognized the fallacy, deception, and danger when I read of how the author thought human beings were capable of enough morality to succeed without the commandment of a creator. The author also spoke of convincing as many people as possible of this point of view.

"The angels will go out and separate the wicked from the righteous
and throw them into the fiery furnace,"

I feel compelled to make it my life's mission to seek and write the best apologetics I can.

“Then every scribe who has been instructed in the Kingdom of heaven
is like the head of a household who brings from his storeroom
both the new and the old.”

I got to go to the noon meeting today where we spoke of step 4.

My mom bought us a nice dinner this afternoon.

I got to spend time in my quiet, cool place with my daughters this evening.

Thanks be to God for the treasures of heaven.

“The Kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field,
which a person finds and hides again"

The greatest problem facing mankind is control of the will. I used to think that the greatest problems facing mankind were worldy problems like the environment, political events, wars, and the economy. Now my perspective has changed in that I see that all problems relate to problems with the will of men. If this one problem were addressed in the sort of effort that goes into worldly problems then all the worldly problems would be resolved.

I used to attribute many of the worldly problems to world religions and belief systems. Now I realize that spirituality is intended to address ttheproblem of the will.

What a treasure.

I woke up VERY tired this morning.

Today I felt a LOT less fearful about losing my job. I did the best I can and did not worry very much about failure. I worked very hard and did a good job.

I didn't get to make it to the meeting today, I regret this now though I didn't at the time.

Tonight we had a good little evening I and I wish to get to bed on time.

Thanks be to God for a good day.

This morning I found peace of mind and forgiveness for my wife.

I thought some more about the principles for me to live by. The reason I decided to define them was because I imagined a conversation in which I spoke of living a principle-based life and I was prompted to convey them.

Principles I live by...

Other centeredness will lead me to wisdom,
Control of self will lead me to good decisions,
Faith will lead me to perseverence,
Wisdom, good decisions, and perseverence, will lead me to success.
Success does not mean happiness.
Happiness is an inside job.
Action speaks louder than words.

I thought more of being a treasure seeker today. Of seeking wisdom above all. Wisdom to facilitate fellowship among men.

Today at work I felt much better.

I got to go to the noon meeting.

This evening I played in the dirt with my daughter. I sat in the shade and a cool wind blew through the high grass that appeared a bright green in the light of dusk. I watched as she laughed and bounced and smiled at me.

The answer is blowin' in the wind.

Thanks be to God for the fruits of the Spirit.

This morning I woke up very tired from the work I did yesterday. It was questionable as to whether I would make the 9 am mass. My wife did not even stir. I checked on the kids and they were unusually sound asleep. I watched the "Litany of The Sacred Heart" for my meditation. Normally I get so deeply moved by this devotion that I ge lost from the world. But today was the opposite, as I watched I got lost in thoughts of worldly matters and fears. I know that it was an effective meditation because I lost track of time and it was over but I also felt that I was in need of spiritual restoration.

I decided that it would be in my wife's best interest if I went ahead amd went to early mass so that I could babysit the baby since 11 o'clock mass is too late for her. My oldest son and I went to mass. The readings, responsorial, and song lyrics were all especially edifying for me. During the epiclesis I was startled by a period of ecstacy that culminated after communion.

As we were waiting for the announcements my son looked up to me and asked if the Tooth Fairy was real or if it were just the parents that put the gift under the pillow. I had to tell him the truth. We both laughed about it. After mass we went for a nice little walk and had a talk about these things. Funny though, he insisted that Santa was real because he was a real saint, a spirit, and "because how else would the cookies be missing?".

I came home in the best spirits I have been for days and I couldn't wait to share my thoughts and feelings with my wife. When I got home she jumped all over me because of my policy that it is her responsibility to get herself up. She decided that she could not make it to church and she blamed me for it. She had some harsh wors for me including that church was nt just an exclusive club for me. I immediately asked God to save me from being angr and I did a good job of not fighting back. But, I let it ruin my good spirits and I was out-of-sync the rest of the day.

I had to admit later in the day that I was not turning over my anger at some level. I was not being forgiving either.

I took a long nap in the middle of the day and I wondered if I was emotionally exhausted. I had a terrifying dream of losing my kids in a flooded river.

When I woke up I let my little ones pile on top of me. In the afternoon I allowed my son to turn off my baseball game to watch his magic show.

I got a voicemail from someone who really needed a meeting on my side of town and I called them back with the info. In the evening I got a call to go unlock the meeting house. I got to go and fellowship a little and to play a game of washers. I was grateful for these service opportunities.

Thanks be to God for protection from the arrows that fly by day and the terrors that fly by night.


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Principles I live by...

Other centeredness leads to wisdom,
Control of the self leads to good decisions,
Faith is the source of perseverence,
Wisdom, plus good decisions, plus perseverence, lead to success.
Success does not mean happiness.
Happiness is an inside job.
Action speaks louder than words.






When I got home my wife jumped

This morning my wife went to garage sales for resale stuff while I got to take care of and feed the kids.

At mid-morning she came home and I got to go to the meeting house and clean up our recreation area. I tried to take my oldest son but he didn't want to go and I didn't make him go. Then on the way there I realized that it was my job to make him get out of the house so I turned around and went back and got him. The work was hard but I found a lot of comfort in it and my fears were relieved. I had fun and I got to play some washers and hang out with friends.

This afternoon my wife went to a cooking class for our autistic son all afternoon and I got to take care of the kids. We spent some time outside in the evening.

I thougt a lot about the story we read last night, "Because I'm an Alcoholic".

I am grateful that I got to do service work today for my group and for my family.

Thanks be to God for another great day.

I went to work thinking I might get walked today, I was grateful that it did not happen.

It was too busy of a day today and I felt like I stepped on a mine this afternoon.

I have to admit that the latter part of the day I fell back into a low grade sense of fear.

I got to go to a meeting tonight.

I am grateful to be home, I am gtrateful for this moment.