Today I am grateful for the 2 inches of rain and the respite from the heat wave - Thanks be to God.

This morning I had a using dream.

Today we had to spend a lot of money on auto repairs - Thanks be to God that we had the money.

This evening I decided to take the kids to the 12 Step meeting club to play outside while my wife went to her meeting. They had a great time running around with the other kids there. My daughter said it was just like Christmas.

Thanks be to God.

Today I got off to a typical start but after getting the kids fed and cleaning up and attending to everyone's needs I sort of lost my sense of direction and initiative. Fortunately my wife needed to take her van to the shop so my inertia could be put to good use by having to watch the kids all day.

In the evening I got to go to a meeting. We read the paragraph at the beginning of A Vision For You. It was the 3rd time to read this in three meetings. I am grateful to have the fellowship that I crave today.

Thanks be to God.

This morning our Gospel reading was the woman who was healed when she touched Jesus Garment. What struck me was that it describes that He felt power flow out of him. This tells me that the concept of power as a sort of holy force. I always questioned this conception (by me) of God's power as probably incorrect. I figured that it was probably incorrect and that the term power was more of a metaphor for God's will and his code and his creation. But today I see this conception validated. I find this very edifying and I feel renewed in my faith.

I got to go to the meeting at the treatment center today. My wife was resentful about this as she had an important commitment to pick up a piece of furniture (presumably for resale). We went back and forth about the arrangements for this and I thought we finally decided that she would run the errand but she needed me to get back as soon as possible.

The meeting was very good with a new guy on the panel that did a great job. I felt bad for not working him in better but thankfully his friend did. One of the counselors asked me if I could hear a 5th step and I had to turn him down. When I left I felt very bad about this.

After the meeting I had to stop at my sponsor's to pick up a reimbursement and I talked to him about my remorse for not hearing the 5th step. He helped me immensely by pointing out to me that I have a responsibility to practice the principles in my home life and that I did the right thing since I committed to coming home early.

I got home and my wife was waiting for me to do the task and we got it done.

I cooked a nice dinner and she got to go to her meeting.

Thanks be to God.

This morning I woke up on time again. I had a very difficult time setting aside the clamor of thoughts trying to go through my mind. I had a hard time focusing on God and getting started with my prayers. I had to stop and do a prolonged centering meditation before I could pray.

After breakfast I got the kids outside and I mowed the lawn. On my son's suggestion we set up the pool and all had a mid-morning swim. The day got hot quick and I was already starting to get demoralized. But the swim cooled me off and invigorated my spirits.

In the afternoon I went to the birthday celebration at the 12 Step club. Even though it was 105 degrees outside we all had fun. We set up in the shade and played horseshoes, washers, volleyball, and frisbee. We ate fajitas and drank cold sodas. I took my oldest son with me and we had a great time. Lots of kids played on the playscape that I set up there. It was great to spend time with my friends.

In the evening my parents and sister visited we all had a fun time eating watermelon and talking. My son did some magic tricks for my sister. My daughter told the parable of the rich man and the beggar, Lazarus to my sister.

Thanks be to God.

This morning I got out of bed on time.

I got to go to a meeting in the afternoon. Before the meeting I got to meet a new friend who was at his second meeting. He did not identify himself as an alcoholic. After the meeting a guy (who did identify as an alcoholic) pulled me aside and asked me to sponsor him. As we talked the first guy seemed to want to talk and eventually had to leave. I should have tried to better to talk to him but my attention was focused on the second.

I got to watch a movie with my son.

I called my sponsee and we got caught up on things but I was terribly distracted by the kids.

I lost my serenity for a while this evening but felt better when the kids went to bed and I cleaned up.

Thanks be to God.

This morning I remember receiving many spiritual insights but I don't remember what they were.

It was a busy day at home and this evening I feel drained both mentally and physically.

Thanks be to God for this day.

This morning I thought about how upset I was last night that my team lost the CWS. I also thought about how I stumbled on the videos of sporting deaths, suicides, and war atrocities. It made me realize how my emotional reactions to some events are disproportionate to the importance of the event. Even when I minimalize them. This helped me to regain some perspective, thanks be to God.

Today I was home all day with the kids. My wife and I talked and tentatively agreed that we should plan on this arrangement for the foreseeable future.

I wasn't able to do anything other than attend to the children today.

In the afternoon I filled up two swimming pools and we all had a blast in the 106 degree heat. There was a sprinkle of rain which gave me hope that the weather will eventually change.

I haven't been able to get to a meeting and I am seriously isolated right now. I am going to have to look hard at how to work within this scenario to resolve this.

I don't recall any major selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, or fear today.

I thought about Michael Jackson's and Farrah Fawcett's deaths this evening. I thought about how most people don't think of either of them as drug addicts, just disordered people. I believe it is because neither one of them dealt with it themselves.

I am grateful today that I am clear about the nature of my disease and that I get to live.

Thanks be to God.