This morning I got off to a good start with an early rise and prayer.

After the kids got off to school I made 2 job applications and did some research on the workforce website. My daughter #1 has not started school yet so I couldn't do much more as I had to babysit her. But I am beginning to gear up for a more intensive job search as all the kids will be at school next week.

I spent some quality time with my daughter in the shade under the trees in the front yard this morning. It was a relatively cool morning for August in Texas and I was grateful for the day. We put together some stepping stones.

I saw some debate in the media about the catholic mass for Ted Kennedy and criticism on several issues. It got me thinking about some recent objections I have heard about Christianity (or Catholicism) that are all more about what Christians (or Catholics) do rather than what Christian principles are about.

I conceived a simple thought about this. Christianity should be evaluated on what Christians are supposed to do, not what they do do, because what they do do is often do-do.

I thought about the forth step today and about the difficulty of narrowing down the parts of self that are described in the Big Book. It occurred to me that perhaps the important thing is the concept of the "root cause" or "part of self" or "basic instinct" and these might be slightly different than those listed. For example, I have a description of ambitions as "plans and designs" or desires. Maybe these terms could be used. Also it is a little confusing that paragraphs on forgiveness and our mistakes are listed before fear. But fear has apparently already been addressed in the first part of the inventory.

Basic instinct
innate behaviors
motivational forces
fixed action patterns

fight
flight
mate (sex relations)
nest (security)
desire (ambition)
horde (pocket book)
pack (personal relations)
self esteem (pride, arrogance)

Basic instinct in it's proper volume leads us to respond to true needs.
When basic instinct is not constrained then it can drive us into distortion and then complete denial and delusion of the truth.

Tonight I got to go to a meeting and afterward I got to speak to some folks about the job market. I found out some information that settled my insecurity through the end of the year. I can now focus on going to school.

Thanks be to God.

This morning I was a little disappointed that we didn't wake up very early by our weekday standard but we woke up well early enough to get some cleaning done and make it to mass on time.

Our priest gave a very good homily to go along with our scripture readings. I remembered that when Fr. Barry had given his 3rd homily or so I knew we had a great pastor and I didn't think it could get any better. Now about every 3rd homily I think it can't get any better and it does.

He spoke about confusing the means with the ends in regard to worship of the law or the rites above a true, personal, and active relationship with God. I thought this was synchronous with the parable of the pharisee and the tax collector that I saw yesterday on the kid's religious program.

Later I went to the treatment center meeting for my week in the rotation. It was an interesting meeting because the topic presenter read a different meaning into the paragraph that was used than the paragraph actually means. The he cited an example with which I couldn't concur as enthusiastically as he was. Namely that we must change people, places, and things and that you can't work as a bartender if you are an alcoholic. I mostly stuck to the message that my recovery is based on my relationship with God more than anything else. There was this awkward moment when I was pressed to answer whether or not I would sponsor someone that worked as a bartender I answered yes in stark contradiction to the presenter.

I was grateful that I saw a friend there. I was also grateful that I saw my sponsor on the way out and that we were able to spend a good deal of time talking.

Thanks be to God.

This morning after breakfast I fell into a deep sleep. During this sleep I had intense spiritual dreams. I don't recall the details of the dreams but I felt as if dramatic events played out. I remember sobbing terribly at one point with deep grief and then ending with immense gratitude.

When I woke up I felt remorseful at falling asleep and I felt unproductive and aimless. My wife helped me sort out some tasks and I set into motion and got some things done. I was grateful for her understanding and kindness.

I heard her take a twelve step call and we talked afterward about the gratitude we get from helping others. In the afternoon my oldest son asked me why I read the Grapevine magazine and we had a long talk about alcoholism, spiritual recovery, and how the stories give me inspiration.

I got to talk to a guy in recovery for a long time about some issues. I got to run errands with my youngest daughter and do some bonding. She really talked my ear off and amazed me with her new words.

We were blessed with some cloud cover and a cool down to the mid nineties and I got to take my son and his friend to the park for some baseball practice.

In the evening I got to answer a call from the meetings update line and talk to a new guy who wants to get sober.

Thanks be to God for this glorious day.

This morning I had a very hard time waking up and I actually felt like I had a hang over. I resolved to get to bed on time above all else.

I'm going to sleep now.

Thanks be to God.

This morning I had to step away from an argument. It passed by the end of the day.

I had some feelings of lack of direction and non-productivity but I looked at what was closest at hand and shifted my ideas of direction and productiveness and found initiative to be productive in the mundane.

In the evening I got to go to a meeting and carry the message. I ran into an old friend and we talked afterward about the spiritual life. We talked too long and now I need to go to bed.

Thanks be to God

This morning I took my youngest daughter to the doctor for a well check visit. I was grateful that I get to help with these responsibilities. I was also grateful that the doctor was knowledgeable, had a great demeanor, and was understanding about our choice not to vaccinate.

I got to have a great conversation with a friend in recovery today. I also heard from someone that I was worried about.

I kept up with the housework today and resisted putting things off.

I was grateful that my son played hard with his friends and that he told me he has learned to slide. He watched little league world series games with me.

We got a good rain shower here for the second night in a row.

Thanks be to God.

Today was the first day of school for my kids and my wife. We all woke up early and made it on time and with no stress at all. This is an amazing first for us all. Thanks be to God for the way that our habits have changed.

I felt productive today and kept up the house and did a couple of pending tasks. I even received and inspiration that helped me discover some existing resources rather than spend some money.

In the evening I got to go to a meeting. We spoke about a great topic and I was able to process some inventory through our collective insight and talking to a friend.

Today I reflected on the first scripture reading in the mass yesterday about "who do you serve?".

Thanks be to God.