This afternoon I thought of morning prayer and meditation as pre-action. That is, the act of preempting problem behaviors and attitudes and pre-meditating good ones. Someone showed me that there are two parts to grounding, pre-action and re-action. When something triggers my volatile feelings, it is vital that I be in a place of fitness. Then that I react appropriately. I can re-direct and rise above my lower drives. I suppose at the end of the day, post-action follows.

I got to engage in some great activities and discussion at "work" today. In fact things went so well, that I had to catch myself from drifting off the ground in too much enthusiasm.

I almost fell into anger tonight when my wife griped at the kids. It takes a lot of effort for me to resist my problematic behavioral schemas and let God handle it. But, the outcome is wonderful. I get to love her and help us achieve our mission.

Thanks be to God.

Today my kids were home for spring break. I had to supervise them all day except for my sons who were with my mom in the morning. When I went to pick them up we drove to the wildlife preserve that I pass on the way to practicum every day.

I got to have a 12 step meeting with a friend today.
I got to have baseball practice with my son today.

Thanks be to God.

The past few weeks I have been dealing with feelings of inadequecy or incompetence. I have felt that I can't keep up with school work, I've had performance anxiety at internship, and I keep mulling over mistakes on the baseball field, either my own coaching, or my son's. 

Each case has demanded perseverance and an attitude shift. I have had to push through situational anxiety and trust my Higher Power. During these times, over and over the concept of focusing on my thought and emotional processing rather than on the circumstances. I have had to  resist future predicting, past reviewing, and mind reading.

In the case of school, my security and ambitions self esteem were threatened. I get afraid that I can't be content if I have to wait to the last minute to do it due to family responsibilities. I think of myself as a slacker for not being on top of it. I have to practice and pray for acceptance and resist stressing myself.

In performance anxiety I have had been afraid to make mistakes in front of everybody. I have been afraid of what they think. I have had to resist this thinking, persevere through the learning process and turn my dependence to what God thinks.

I am now seeing improvement and feeling much more comfortable.