Today I thought that I would be better off to get my own apartment and focus on my recovery. Then I could come back to my family when things change. I asked God to remove this self will.

One of my co-workers said that he was talking to a guy who said that his girlfriend wrecked his car and he wished she were dead. I said that he probably uses her for that car. That he wasn't man enough to get his own.

I realized that this is me. That is how selfish I am.