Last night I had a dream about addictive behavior. In the dream I was driving home from work in another city. I was exhausted and seeking to unwind. I thought about a social night ahead that involved partying and drinking. I had a vague sense of guilt that I shouldn't but I thought that this was just a troublesome behavior that I should resist. As I passed the city on the way home, I couldn't imagine going home and then coming back and rationalized that I should just detour to town and a bar. On my way to a bar I passed an urban townhome complex where I had previously scored drugs and I rationalized that I should look up friends that I had partied with before. I wandered into the complex aimlessly, not sure why I was there but definitely not going to score drugs, maybe not. My old using buddy joined alongside me walking down a long hall talking about his recent encounters with acquaintances as he often did. At some point he mocked a friend who had given him an emotional account of his conversion to faith. I separated from the friend and encountered a tall platinum blond woman. I entered an elevator alone and entered into an internal dilemma in which I wanted to run away alternating with wanting to cop drugs. The lights went off in the elevator and I frantically tried to find the buttons to get back to the ground floor and get off. There was a dark figure in the elevator trying to convince me of something. There door cracked opened but I was still trapped. A twin of the tall platinum blond woman was outside also trying to convince me to do something.
I was very attention deficient in my prayers when I woke up but I got through them.
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