Tonight I can't sleep. It has been a busy day that started out with rushing to the store for flowers for my wife for Valentine's day. She had cards, candy, and a gift set out for each kid. I felt grateful that she provides them with so much love.

Last night I had a using dream. It might have been the second night in a row. It was a bit disturbing because I was placed back in a setting and attitude where recovery was long lost or had never quite gained and I was in a using environment where I was offered constantly. The hard part was that my son was there with me. After a few uses, I made no more effort to hide it from him. Thank God that is not the reality of my life, but it sure was frightening to feel it.

I've been thinking alot about the death of Whitney Houston. I remember the red flags. In interviews she was not at all comfortable admitting her addiction. She did not seem committed at all. She also talked about being able to drink on occasion. I knew she had not yet found recovery.

This morning I talked to two friends in the program. One who is newly sober and one who is committed. We talked about what it takes to make that comittment.

Thanks be to God.