Last night I had a using dream.

This morning I posted to an online meeting and for the third time my post was not forwarded to the rest of the group. I believe now that I am being screened.

Today I went to a meeting, the topic was step 6. I was disappointed that I lost my way in my share again. It wasn't that bad but the topic was step 6 and I dwelt too much on my problems with sex conduct. I spoke about how my problem was in striving for "self determined" objectives rather than God's objectives.

I spoke too much about insanity which was the topic of the online meeting. I spoke about how my defects of character were much like my powerlessness and unmanageability. I spoke about not being able to be clear about the truth about myself in my addiction and so the same applies to my judgements about my boundaries of conduct.

I guess it wasn't so bad because I have to treat my problems of moral perspective in the same way as my addiction. These delusions are also a form of insanity in that they lead me into behaviors that are harmful and my perspective becomes delusional.

My dream last night was long, drawn out and hypersexual. I realized today that in my conscious thought life that I have not thought about using or deviating form my marriage in a long time. But, the disease still reveals itself in my subconscious.

This evening my wife got unjustifiably demeaning to me a few times. I resisted the impulse to fight back or point out her mistakes.

Today I turned my thoughts away from sexual indulgence several times and focused on God centeredness.