Today I bought a few things for my kids and then had buyer's remorse.  At some point I realized that this was really bugging me.  I prayed for acceptance and recalled the paradigm that money is just a resource passing through my hands as rain falls on the land.  I must trust that God will always provide what I need and that while I should be motivated to be a good steward, I should not obsess over menial losses, especially when it comes to doing things for the kids.  When my daughter came in from school she asked, "Dad, is that my bat that you bought for me?".  I was pleased that she noticed and liked it.

At about 3 pm. I realized that I never got back to prayer this morning.  I was groggy getting up and the kids needed something and I forgot to go back and pray.  So I realized at that moment I was at a good stopping point and that I should make a better choice than picking up the remote.  I went and prayed my morning prayers but just worded them for the rest of the day.

I recalled that last night I had a nightmare while putting my daughter to sleep.  I was dreaming that I was walking in a park and the wind was blowing through the trees and many birds were squawking and circling above me.  Then the birds grew into enormous numbers and were swarming past.  I suddenly saw a black form swoop down and disappear into the trees nearby.  It seemed as if it were after me.  I felt frightened and started to wake up.  I was laying there with my eyes opened but not awake.  I could see a black form on the wall next to me and I started to panic.  Then I could feel a heavy weight pressing down angrily.  I prayed and resisted and I felt my arm being lifted up.  I looked to my side and my arm was not moving but it felt as if my arm were invisibly lifted and plunged into my chest and grabbed and ripped my insides up and out.  I woke up.

I also remembered that I had a crack smoking dream sometime last night.  I believe this was a spiritual attack due to the 12 step work my wife and I did last night.  She told me that she also had a bad dream.

This morning the guy that asked me to sponsor him called and I provided him with some direction.

My wife and I had a good day interacting with each other.

This evening I got to go to a meeting at my home group.  The topic was step 12.  On the way there I heard a story about a man walking down the street who saw a little boy struggling to carry a younger boy.  He said to the boy "He looks very heavy", the boy said back "He is not, because he is my brother."  The point is the when we are inspired in our work by love, by the One who is love, then the burden is lite.  "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."  After the meeting my friends held a spontaneous prayer for my sister and I.

Thanks be to God.