This morning after all the kids were dropped off at school I fell asleep for about an our, the better part of the morning.  I felt worried and mad at myself for losing time.  I tried to remind myself that I was pretty sick this week and it was probably the lingering effects.  I also reminded myself of my sponsor's advice that I associate oversleeping and illness with the remorse of using.

In the short time before the kid pickups began I got our printer back up and running on my wife's computer and I rehearsed my speech for the class tonight.  Looking back it feels good to have done something constructive.  But, during the time of the kid pickups I felt so distracted that I struggled to retain the speech in my mind.  I reminded myself that it was only 3-4 minutes.

I took some time to call back a friend in recovery who called me yesterday.

I managed to get the kids to ride their bikes a little and both boys to do a little baseball practice.  When my wife came home she tried to get me to rehearse our speeches but when we tried we got interrupted and I got resentful and so did she.  We never did get back to it and she got progressively more irritable as the time approached for our class.

I also started to get grouchy and worried about our babysitting arrangements but thank God for our friends who stepped up to help us with this.

I got apprehensive about my speech as the time came near to give it.  I felt uncomfortable telling strangers in a non-recovery setting that I was an addict.  But, as the other people gave their talks, my fears resolved in my min and I was OK.  Afterward a fellow student was very eager to speak to me as she is studying to be a counselor.  Then during a break the instructor pointed out a person who had recovered from abuse and homelessness and myself as the faces of those who have recovered.

Afterward my wife and I got to go eat a nice dinner together.

When I got home I briefly heard Dr. Drew asked about David Lettermen's resentful attitude.  He said that resentments eat you alive and you gotta let them go.  When asked how, he said that people in recovery speak to their sponsors, process their resentments, and pray and they eventually go away.

At the end of this day I felt rejuvinated to be active in recovery.

Thanks be to God.