This Saturday morning we had two little league games and my oldest son had a music memory contest.  I was grateful for my wife's effort to get him to his game in time to play two innings.  He got to pitch 2 innings and he got to bat once.  He did a good job but had to pitch his way out of trouble a couple of times.  I was proud of him for hanging in and keeping his cool.  I was also proud of him for being understanding of his teammates when they made mistakes that resulted in losing the game.   I too had to resist an intolerant attitude.  I had to practice some acceptance in having to spread attention between two games and all three activities and not being able to help or attend the ball park barbecue event.

In the evening  I got to go to a meeting.  Our topic reading started on page 125, "Most alcoholics are enthusiasts.  They run  to extremes..."  Most people talked about financial troubles and resentful families, or how they have to completely dedicate themselves to their recovery activities.    I thought about how when I first took the steps I was enthusiastic about the program and in time my wife was resentful and felt neglected by me.  After a steady progression of emotional recovery I eventually backslid into deep resentment and relapsed.  :Later in looking back at what happened, I can see that I became enthusiastic about my hobbies of fishing and billiards, my personal spiritual activities decreased as my hobbies increased and my resentments blew up.  Concurrently, my self-righteousness and intolerance rose to extremes.

But I didn't realize this right away when I came back from relapse.  It was only after a good deal of time that I was able to see what went wrong.  I didn't recognize that my "enthusi-ism" and extremism (over non-drinking activities) was just as bad as my extreme and enthusiastic drinking/using was.

The answers came from vigilance in personal inventory, prayer and an attitude of self sacrifice at home. I exerted myself in those areas and put my personal wants on hold, one day at a time.  It wasn't any easier to swallow than the first time and I experienced some discontent.   But in time the basis of my wants changed and I became filled with enthusiasm for family, faith, and fellowship.  My "content-ment" shifted and I began to see the nature of my problem.  Over enthusiasm and extremism are forms of emotional insobriety.

Thanks be to God.