This Tuesday I spent the morning preparing to have guests.  I had to avoid being irritable about this again.  Fortunately it was later in the afternoon before they arrived.

I was again absorbed in my philosophy work and had a feeling of futility about it.  I also had to study for my biology final.  I took the test in the afternoon and made a 92.  I was actually a bit disappointed in that I could not see how I could have missed 4 questions (out of 50).  I recognized this as a selfish demand (expectation) and resisted this attitude immediately and turned to gratitude for a great grade.  I had to mull over this several times and talk to my wife before it passed.  Thanks be to God!

 I thought about attachment and the role that it plays in the integration of the person.  I thought about how my parents provided me with a strong attachment when I was a child.  Our relations later became strained but this was when I was a teenager.  If I could identify a problem in the younger formative years I would say it was in transition to separation.  It occurred to me that a healthy attachment involves being able to keep the sense of inner security when the child is separated from the parents.  The insecurity that I recall as a child was a sense of dis-integration, that is that I was no longer held together by the presence of my parent.  I believe that my children have this, that is why they are typically okay apart from us.  Perhaps it would serve them well in their formation if I would make a more conscious effort to cultivate this.  Also this serves as an archetype for their relationship with God.  I think that if I could present them with a secure and tangible image of God as their father, protector, and guide, then I could better help them depend on him for their personal integration, that is for the parts of themselves to stay together, to feel whole.

I also had a thought about the role that an attitude of service plays in resolving the problems of daily living.  In other words, when I have a dilemma, conflict, or decision, if I am most concerned about what my function, attitude and role is as if it were my job then I am less apt to fall into resentment, stress and anxiety.   Whereas if I am looking too much at my environmental circumstances, or actions of others, or my expectations then I am certain to be discontent.

In the evening our home was chaotic with guests and their children visiting.

I am grateful to have a home to entertain guests.

Thanks be to God