This Wednesday morning I had a dream that I was smoking pot.  I don't remember any details but it was worth noting that I had this dream. In thinking back to it, I believe that this may be evidence of the effect of long term behaviors to create psychodynamic forces.

This afternoon I had a thought about proof of the existence of God and supernatural power.  It was prompted by a story about a boy who came back to life after drowning and being dead for 15 minutes.  I recalled that I could not believe even when I wanted to, or at least knew that I needed to.  I see now that I could not believe because I demanded proof of miracles.  I needed incontrovertible proof of defiance of the physical laws of the universe.  But in my quest for faith I realized that the type of...(thought never completed.

This evening I went to a very interesting meeting.  It was a new 12 step meeting on Wednesday night, something I had been wishing for for a long time.  It was great to be there until I started to encounter the fellows who were getting it started and they gave their spiel as to the vision of the meeting.  In short they are trying to create a meeting in which people do it "right". They made a list of "suggestions" for their meeting.  These are guidelines and rules which seem to address the wrongs they see in some meetings and to cultivate a sort of 12 step utopia they have envisioned.  Some of this is well intentioned but they come across as rules.  It reminded me of all the times I have been involved in this sort of endeavor and how it is typically unnecessary and sometimes dysfunctional.  In the twelve step fellowships "we do not govern."