This morning I ha a hard time waking up but I had time to pray and meditate and read the daily scriptures. The first reading was the beginning of the creation where God created the heavens and the earth. This morning I noted that the sequence of creation seemed out of order in that the story tells of God creating the earth first and the the sky, and the luminous bodies. I realized that from a faith perspective this is the right order. That while the universe is immense that beings are greater. The reading composed a great image that served to re-substantiate God's grandeur to me. It served to smash the subtle doubts that gradually and imperceptibly accumulate.

The Gospel reading was a picture of the masses that gathered around the Lord and were healed. I didn't realize that so many had beene healed this way. I was intrigued by the account of so many being healed by merely touching his robe. I wondered if this were a metaphor for the way that his grace reaches to everyone in the world even to those who do not see him fully.

I remembered sometime yesterday that I heard the question of why God didn't heal everyone. The answer was that he did when he gave himself on the cross. Everyone received healing and eternal life.

Tonight I read Fr. Barron's latest youtube video. His description of encountering Christ of knowing he is there just out of sight is just like mine. I am not sure f I have written about it lately but I still get the ringing in my ears in spiritually inspired moments and I have been seeing the pinpoint of light opening up from time to time.

Today I got to go to the noon meeting. We read from the family afterward starting on page 125. I saw the pages that we read in a much clearer light. I saw a few major points that were an overall context that I had not seen before. I saw a theme of over enthusiasm in many different areas of life that can be as inconsiderate to the family as drinking was even though they are good. I saw how I had done all of these and failed to stay sober. I saw that I had been emotionally, morally, and intellecually as abusive as I had been with alcohol. I saw that many times I had seen it too but just as with alcohol I had leaned too heavily on will power.

I got to go to the noon meeting