Yesterday I got to go to the noon meeting. Yesterday was a busy day at work. Last night i got a free truckload of sand. It was a lot of work but I think it is important to take advantage of the gifts that God gives me.
When I arrived home my wife had to leave to go to the Lenten mission at the church. I was faced with the difficult task of unloading the sand, watching the kids (all 4), and bathing the afterward. I had to persevere to live up to the commitment I made Sunday to support this. I even had to motivate my wife to go. Thankfully she did, And thankfully I was able to get the sand done.
When she came home she had the glasses that I ordered on the web. Unfortunately they were way too small and looked cheap. I was very disappointed. I wanted to descend into a great deal of remorse, self pity, and blame. I had to pray for God to remove my self-centered fear and resentment. I had to see that I was to blame not my wife. I had to repeatedly turn it over all night and use my will to keep doing this even though I was still feeling it. I had to realize that at some level I had doubt of God's power. I had to realize that I had an expectation for immediate relief and that it would take repetition and some time to pass. My remorse subsided considerably but not completely. I had to practice some acceptance.
My wife was mad at me for the disaster that the house was in. I had to resolve not to think that the mission was a mistake and to just let her be mad and not react.
Thanks be to God that we made it to bed in gratitude and peace.
This morning I had remorse over the wasted money on the glasses again but it passed with God's help.
I got to go to the noon meeting. We talked about step 3.
This afternoon I got a thought out of the blue for a few seconds of the inside of a bar and an ice cold beer on the way home. I prayed for it to be cleared from my thinking and it was immediately.
In the afternoon we had a great baseball practice. I was proud of my son's efforts. We splurged on ice cream afterwards. I showed him how to pump gas.
My new sponsee called me again.
Thanks be to God for another great day.
No comments:
Post a Comment