I had an interesting dilemma for the past 3 mornings in that I have struggled to get through meditation. It seems to be a congruence with the fact that I said in a meeting the other night that I felt like and expert at meditation and prayer. This has troubled me greatly because it just doesn't seem right but I was trying to make a point. I was trying to convey the message that we don't have to stay stuck. That we don't have to settle for mediocrity in our spiritual practices. That we should set a goal to improve in understanding and effectiveness. Nevertheless, I still felt that I could have said it a different way.
I heard a very good talk by Fr. Barron this morning. He talked about a different view of Christ the King and the spiritual realm. What struck me in particular was his view of the angels as extra dimensional beings that would appear very imposing and invoke fear. That angels were not the docile tame creatures that they are typically portrayed as.
This evening when I arrived at the meeting I realized that it was city wide birthday night. I was able to be the one to initiate set up of the room. But then I really didn't want to stay there. I dreaded the thought of that type of meeting with an endless list of speeches. But as the crowd gathered I became motivated by the old friends that I had not seen in a long time and the new faces that I had never seen. I decided to stay for one speaker and kept that going one speaker at a time. There were several points where I had to turn to God to free me from my critical nature. Mid way through the meeting God removed my apathy and restored my enthusiasm and gratitude. I truly enjoyed being a part of the recovery community.
I had few thoughts to jot down tonight:
Complete Psychic Change - profound and fundamental rehabilitation of the guiding forces, instinctual drives, and motivational values
Strategy - retool the conscience, replace the values, revive the spirit
Thanks be to God for this day.
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