This Wednesday Morning I thought about going to Ash Wednesday mass at noon or at five before my son's baseball game.  Before and after class I spent productive time in the learning lab doing math work.  As noon approached I was taking a quiz and forgot about mass.  I was disappointed not to make it as I doubted that I would have time in the evening.  I was especially disappointed with myself when I saw people with ashes on their foreheads at the game.

The game was competitive but they fell behind considerably  towards the middle of the game.  The starting pitcher loaded the bases and the coach put in his son.  His son missed the strike zone wildly and was pulled after two batters.  He cried in the dugout and did not want to reenter the game.   I tried to encourage him but looking back I should have done more.  I was too preoccupied with the game.  My son was put in and looked great as he warmed up and threw about 5 strikes in a row.  I thought this was going to be his moment, that he would at least get us out of the inning.  His mechanics looked great and he was close to the strike zone but he walked the first two batters.  The coach pulled him.  The next pitcher did not fair much better at first but settled in and did fairly well the rest of the game but it was not enough.  Our team lost.

We were deeply disappointed and my son told me several times that it was not fun.  He was very agitated with the mistakes and lack of effort by the younger players.  He was also upset at being thrust into a difficult situation and then being pulled too quick.  We had to have a series of talks the rest of the evening in which I had to teach him how to face adversity and disappointment and walk through it with dignity.  I had to guide him to place his sense of enjoyment on his overall productivity not on the outcome of the game.  I also had to deal with my own disappointment and mixed feelings.  I helped him to see that he had a lot of positives to look at, great hitting, base running, and fielding, and that it is a privilege just to get the opportunity to pitch and that more will come.

I had to put myself in the shoes of the coach and see that he was in a very difficult situation influenced by the unfortunate performance of his son due to a probable developmental delay.  Not to mention the pressures of being a coach.

I have a lot to be grateful for and just needed some time for my feelings to pass.  Thanks be to God.