Last night I had a short but intense using dream. In the dream I remember a lot of the preparation steps and anticipation of the high but I couldn't get the drugs in my system. Then my dream jumped to a scene of pornography and homo erotic sex. It was as if I was suddenly back in one of those short periods where I was in an intense rush and completely engrossed in lust and uninhibited sexual activity.

As I drifted in and out of sleep I struggled with the desire to use. As I began my morning prayers I felt like I needed to talk to someone about this and teh only person I could think of was a woman in the fellowship who I probably shouldn't talk to about it.

Thankfully when I woke up and finshed my prayers sanity returned and my desire abated. It is not yet reconciled however.

There are two main and plain things that I can see that may have led up to the spiritual attack in the dream. One, the spiritual service that we are undertaking in the using dream. And, I didn't pray for protection in my dreams last night.

My son and I had a baseball game today.

After the game I got to watch the Longhorns beat the Sooners with my Mom, Dad, Wife, and kids.

I thought a lot about the new format of our meeting.

God please grant me willingness and protect me in my dreams tonight.