Today I got to go to the noon meeting. We read from the first few pages of More about Alcoholism. The main theme of having been unwilling to admit we were alcoholic really stood out to me. Rather than getting into the themes of the individual paragraphs or individual sentences or individual phrases each of which can be topics to themselves, I just saw that they were all aspects of being unwilling to admit that I am a real alcoholic.

It occurred to me how many different facets there are just to make this particular admission: surrender, acceptance, willingness, honesty, compliance, humility, and comprehension.

The most important connection that I made was that the guy that I met with yesterday helped me to see that I had become unwilling to admit that I am a real alcoholic.

When I questioned whether I should go to the treatment center because I have a clean life, I was unwilling to admit that I was a real alcoholic.
When I questioned whether I had time to work with him because I had things to do at home I was unwilling to admit that I was a real alcoholic.
When I questioned whether or not I was as bad as him because he had been homeless, I was unwilling to admit I was a real alcoholic.

Willingness is something that must be replenished in me and is transitory due to my nature.

I realize that this is the same unwillingness that I had in the beginning.

Thanks be to God for willingness today.