Last night I had dreams that I had relapsed into heavy drinking.

This morning I had a hard time waking up and I felt tired and groggy. I had a really hard time focusing enough to pray. I had to start over many times and I got through them in a disordered manner, but I got through them.

I needed to get up early because today was my son's first communion mass. I got out of bed late and I felt almost hung over. I felt depressed. I turned my feelings over to God for help. I immediately remembered that I spent much of the day yesterday doing yardwork, then I had to take m kids to two birthday parties, then I had to care for the kids by myself in the evening. This recollection helped me realize that I felt tired for a good reason.

The communion mass was very moving. On the drive their I got to hear him share his fears with me. I got to give him words of encouragement. I got to sit in the second row behind my son and watch him take his first communion. The liturgy felt especially powerful today. I really felt God's presence on the altar. I felt that I am ready to make that next stride forward in my faith. I felt that it was the christening of a very powerful spiritual being in my son.

I regretted a few things that went wrong, like I didn't have my camera, my wife had to sit in the balcony, I didn't know his godmother was supposed to walk him in. But these things were not what was truly important. And I was joyful for the things that went right. My ears are ringing for them now.

I was very proud at the understanding that my son has of the significance of the sacrament. I watched his expressions as he responded to the homily that the priest gave and I knew he was listening. I felt as if our parish really put it's best face forward and is truly becoming a faith filled fellowship. I was proud that our family is truly faith filled.

After mass we had to go to another birthday party for one of my autistic son's playmates. I left from the party because my wife suggested that I might be having an allergic reaction to their cat. But I should have stayed their longer to be certain of this. I felt dishonest at capitalizing on her suggestion so that I could go home and finish my landscaping tasks.

I learned to sharpen my chainsaw today.
I tried to call my friend who's brother died.
I got busy with the kids and never got to call back my sponsees.
I regretted not being able to go to the treatment center.

I finished the day doing a lot of home maintenance, grilling dinner, visiting with my parents, and practicing with my son.

Thanks be to God.