This morning I woke up late and had to make a choice between praying or eating. I chose to pray.

On my way to work I saw a shooting star that was brighter that the headlights of cars. It broke up into fireballs and fell below the treeline.

At noon we read from The Housewife Who Drank At Home. The following line was the focus of my attention, "...it was only through feeling defeat and feeling failure, the inability to cope with my life and with alcohol, that I was able to surrender and accept the fact that I had this disease and that I had to learn to live again..."

The author talked about being secretive and hiding things. I thought that this is how it started for me. That I started by hiding things from other people. I started by hiding my feelings from my parents. Then I started hiding my conduct. Then I started hiding my drinking and using. Then I started hiding things from myself. Then I started hiding the truth. This hiding of the truth started as justification., "It's ok to do a little line, that way I can stay in control and keep drinking". Then it became rationalization, "If you had the life I did, you would need to shoot dope too". Then it became denial, "I don't really have a problem, I just like to party".

As long as my life was working I couldn't see the truth through the structure of denial. But when my life fell apart, that structure developed cracks that I could see through.

The moral inventory helped me to demolish the structure of that denial. The principles of God-centerdness, God-reliance, character growth, complete honesty, and amends with others, served to rebuild a new structure of truth.

At work to day I was afraid of the volume of tasks that I have.
At one point today I was offended by a derogatory statement about someone else's faith.

This afternoon I got to play with the little ones in the cool afternoon in the back yard.

Thanks be to God for this day.