At noon today we went to Lockhart, Tx. to eat at Kruetz's Market for my Dad's birthday. He chose 12:30 to meet there. When we got there it was closed. It was warm in the van as the AC is not working right. The kids were hungry because they eat at noon. My Dad decided to go to Luling, Tx. to eat at the City Market. When we got there it was packed and the kids got somewhat unruly. When my Dad made some gripes I thought that the lack of accommodations for small children were obvious when he made the decision to go there. I was resentful for a moment or two but it passed.

Today I was resentful of my wife's attitude several times. I was resentful that she has to react to everything the kids say and do. I realize that my reaction to her is the same as the sin that I am judging her for.

This evening I made a decision to go to our meeting due to a sense of obligation to support it. I wasn't quite sure why I felt compelled to go. My wife was resentful because we were going to a holiday party and she wanted my help getting the kids there. It turned out that there were only four people at the meeting and two of them were young people new in sobriety. I realized that my intuition was right because many of the members of our group were at holiday events and the meeting needed support.

After the meeting I went to the party and had a great time.

This morning we watched the parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector. My son and I sang the song all day. Tonight on the way home from the party my mind drifted into an imaginary discussion about the meaning of this parable. It was as if I were discussing with another alcoholic about the need for our perspective to be that of the admission and removal of character defects first, not just the seeking of virtues because we are prone to play up our virtues and judge other people's sins.

As I write this I realize how I am like the Pharisee. My disordered motives tend to overvalue my virtues and judge others behaviors. Even if I don't consciously do this I do it automatically.

I am grateful that we got to go to Luling and eat the food that I really wanted anyway.
I am grateful that my daughter said this food is the best and I love it.
I am grateful that my oldest son came and joined us in the line and the cook showed him the inside of the smoker.
I am grateful that we got to see several groups of relatives.
I am grateful that my wife understands and supports my meeting attendance.
I am grateful that my wife and I don't bicker and get intensely resentful at each other any more.
I am grateful for the fellowship that we got to enjoy as a family tonight.
I am grateful for this country that we live in.

Thanks be to God.