This Monday got off to a great start.  I woke up early and made breakfast for the kids after completing my prayers with clarity.  After breakfast I got my oldest son to do a baseball practice to earn video game time.  Then I took the younger kids on a walk to the neighborhood park. We had a great little time there, I read the daily reflections and mass readings while the kids played on the playscape.  I read about making amends and about the delusion of worldly power and wealth.   I most enjoyed playing the troll under the bridge and chasing them in the shady garden.

When I got back I washed our vehicles and cleaned up in the garage.  While we were at home I turned on Fr. Corapi's talk about angels.  I was glad to see my son paying attention and then we watched a program about the ten commandments.

In the afternoon I took the boys to Sports Clips and we all got hair cuts.  I was disappointed in myself for not asking for ones and then tipping 5 dollars for each one of us. After the haircuts I took my son to buy a video game.

I wanted to got to a meeting tonight but chose not to as it would probably upset my wife.  Instead I began watching the LLWS with the kids.  At some point around this time, I started to be less energetic and responsive to the kids.  My wife got very angry at some of the things I let them do or did not respond to.  She   started yelling at them and then blew up at the girls and put the things that they did not clean up in a trash bag. Without thinking about it I got up and started arguing with her to stop being ugly to them.  We bickered a bit and then I blew up at her and kicked a box and punched a portrait on the wall and broke it.  She that was it that she wanted a divorce.   I was very disappointed that I lost my temper so badly.  I haven't done this in over a year.

My wife and I didn't talk the rest of the night.  She went to bed early and I put the kids to bed and said prayers with them.

I thought about how I must have gradually let myself fall back to believing that anger and arguing is an appropriate response.  I must be afraid that she is not disciplining the children in a way that I deem appropriate.  Even though I was very upset at my conduct, I was grateful that it didn't get worse and that I have a process to work out of it.

Thanks be to God.