This morning I felt very cognizant when I woke up.  It was the second good day in a row.  During my morning routine, I thought of a better approach to my school project that is in process.  I wished that I could capitalize on this inspiration but I had to feed the kids.  During breakfast I watched a program in which Fr. Barron spoke of the nature of God as being.  That this is what Aquinas said.  That God is not a genus but that God is being.  

We made it to mass on time.  It was the first week of Advent and I was deeply moved by our worship and music. Our priest gave a great sermon on the business of our buzy-ness.  He spoke of the need to prioritize the spiritual life.  After receiving communion, as I sat with my eyes closed in meditation, the point of light that I sometimes see out of the corner of my eye appeared more distinctly than ever before and directly in the center of my line of sight.  It also lingered more than ever before.  My daughter interrupted me but I was not aroused.  As we exited our pew I got separated from my wife and children and took up the end of the line.  I was feeling a little worn at this point from the effort that it takes to manage the children.  An elderly lady walked alone ahead of me and I felt her loneliness.  I thought of what it must be like to perhaps be separated from your loved ones.  For the days of buzy-ness and joy filled family life to be long gone.  The atmosphere turned eerily distant and echoing to me at that moment.  I suddenly felt a calling from behind in the sanctuary, from behind the altar.  I felt longing and sadness.  I felt love and passion wash over me.

I tried to work on my book report after dinner but my parents showed up to visit with my niece.  I thought it was odd and I couldn't help but resent it a little as I was feeling the pressure to work on my project due Tuesday.  We had a difficult discussion about my sister-in-law who called and griped at my parents this morning about her perceived lack of support from them for her son.  The entire time I had this feeling that I had important things to talk to my parents about but I couldn't find them.  When my parents left the house my dad started talking to me about how hard my niece took parting with her mother today and about other things.  I was grieved that he waited until then to try and talk as my mother and niece were waiting in the car and I really couldn't engage in the discussion that this merited.

I tried to work again this afternoon but was continually interrupted by the needs of my children.  I had a hard time keeping them active outside and off the video games.  I had to take a different tact with my son about baseball practice.  I had to inform him that it is not a choice for him to participate, that it is a requirement that he participate in a team sport and that we have decided that baseball is the best choice.  This is part of his personal character and health development.

Thanks be to God for this day.