This morning I woke up groggy and sore.  I presume that these were the effects of a busy and physically active day yesterday.  For this I was grateful.

I made a very nice pancake breakfast for the kids including GFCF coconut flour pancakes for my son with autism.

Three of our kids have rhino virus so I had to stay home with them from mass.  My wife lead the children's liturgy today so she was our appointed family representative at church.

I was thinking about advice for a friend who just received a ministry appointment at his church.  One of the most important things that came up was the problem of dichotomies and debates about recovery, the 12 steps, and AA.  Surprisingly thought, this lead me to think of a different friend and his struggles in our counselor training.  I thought about the idea that the Big Book expresses that "argument and fault finding are to be avoided like the plague", that "we are no longer fighting anything or anyone."

I caught myself in the earliest stages of arguing and griping to the kids to get them to obey me this morning.  And they were in the earliest stages of defying me openly.  I stopped myself and gathered us together to sit and pray.  This is something we have begun doing recently.  We usually just do it in the morning for our set morning prayer, but I should employ this for times when crisis breaks out in our home.  Perhaps this would work instead of lectures and discussions.

My son and I walked our dog again today using the "Cesar way".  We went a lot further this time around the block, down through the park, to the running track at the school and all the way around the building.  I felt a real sense of bonding with the boy and the canine.  We talked about father and son stuff and breathed in and out the clean, crisp December air.  Our dog seemed more active, alert and more like part of our family again. I actually enjoyed hearing her bark today, she seems to be recovering her sense of pack esteem.

In the evening I got to go to a meeting.  We read from "To Employers". I thought about how the example behaviors of employers that the author described listed the order of priorities of dealing with the alcoholic problem reflected the grave misunderstanding of the nature of the disease.  The methods of dealing with the problem tended to be in managing to the business affairs of the individual, trying to coerce the willpower of the person, or firing them altogether or some other extreme reaction.  The author describes an strategy that runs counter to conventional thinking.  It puts an informed understanding of the disease first, setting appropriate boundaries, and then being willing to do what is best for both parties.

A friend described a great approach to how much and what type of disclosure is appropriate as an employee:
Be discrete about recovery from addiction, there is a great and well founded stigma attached to this
It's appropriate to identify oneself as a non-drinker to deal with solicitation to drink
When attending events where there is drinking, use a two strikes rule; after the second offer (per person) to drink it's time to leave
I thought that one can identify oneself as a non-drinker without having to identify oneself as an alcoholic.  A non-drinker may have had a bad habit that they must avoid but does not necessarily connote the alcoholic disease.

My friend with whom I have an uncertain mentorship seemed to want to talk tonight.  I got to attend the group conscience after the meeting.  I got to talk to a friend about spiritual matters after that.

Thanks be to God for this day.