Last night I got to work with a guy until late in the evening. When I came home I was exhausted and went straight to bed so I am reviewing this morning.

Wednesday night I had a dream that I was being stalked by a huge white tiger and a really fat crocodile. The beasts kept attacking each other but still kept after me. They caught me more than once in the mud by fortunately I didn't dream the outcome, just the terror of the chase.

Last night when I was working with Clay I was describing the volume of the unconscious mind in relation to the conscious and preconscious. I described how our dreams may be an indicator of the struggle and processes happening in the hidden world of the spirit.

This is why I can't rely on my conscious thoughts or feelings as the gauge of my spiritual condition.

Even though I may not be getting resentful, or being selfish, or thinking of drinking (or using) I shouldn't think all is well. The only way I can ensure immunity or be in that safe place of neutrality is to do the spiritual work.

Yesterday I made it through my second day of answering calls at work all day on my own. I even did an IM in the afternoon. I am grateful for the initiative that God has graced me with to be able to do it. I felt useful at work and I am really learning the system.

Payday snuck up on me and I just ended the day with a great sense of optimism that God will provide for my family and he is building my self esteem.