This morning I was resentful when I was trying to cook breakfast and all the kids wanted something at the same time.
This morning I thought a little about just how much of an introvert that I am. About how I feel awkward around people.
I also made some observations about times when I have low level selfishness and resentment that I should be inventorying but I just haven't been aware of them. I wish I could remember what they were.

Today I did some much needed yard work including trimming some branches. I was graetful for the initiative and energy to do it. And I got a great sense of serenity from the tidiness of the back yard and seeing the kids play out there.

Tonight I went to the Stepping Stones meeting. The topic was "Why does he behave like this?...why is it he takes that one drink?"

I observed that I "take that one drink" two different times. One is when I am newly sober and trying to stay abstinent and the mental obsession takes over and I just can't get any time under my belt. The other time is when I am "down range" and I have some time under my belt and all the crises have been resolved and life id getting busy and my program begins to get sketchy.

I shared that the first scenario is easy to understand as it it rooted in that IRC from being separated from that drink or dru that give's me the sense of ease and comfort. The other scenario is not so easily explained because I usually have no indication that I'm going to drink, it just happens our of the blue.

In either case the solution is that I turn over my will and my life to God as I understand him. Early on I mostly turn over my will and am restored to the type of sanity that is power over that obsession. But later it has to equally be my life that I turn over. That is the other areas of life that are seemingly unrelated to my sobriety.

I said that the most recent example of doing this is when I had to stop staring at the tatoo of a naked woman on someone's arm in the room. That this was an example of the type of area where I have a character defect, that is, an area of my life where my basic instinct has exceeded it's proper function and it blocks me from the power of God that restores me to sanity.

I thought maybe I should have siad something about internal unmanageability but now I realize that I said enough.

Grateful for another "Best Day"