Yesterday morning I had baseball practice with my son. He was very agile and coordinated. He made good catches and throws and he made good decisions. Our new coach taught us some very good fundmental mechanics and training methods. I was proud of my son's skills but I was most proud that he listened and followed directions.

The rest of the afternoon I spent cleaning and resting and constantly attending to the kids needs. In the afternoon I began to have a sense of futility that I get when I must constantly change direction from what I am thinking and planning. When I am at work I often have to do what I don't WANT to do for a long period of time. But this is worse than that. This is more like not being able to follow any kimd of constructive plan but just being in mental limbo for a long time.

Last night my wife worked the church carnival and I stayed home with the kids. It was an overwhelming amount of work for me and I passed out exhausted late last night without being able to do an evening review. This gave me an idea of what it will be like when she goes to work. I will have to find ways to get things done like starting right after dinner.

Today my wife slept in and none of us made it to church. I made sure to watch the mass on TV and make spiritual communion.

Most of the morning I was exceptionally tired and slept on and off. I also had that same sense of mental vacancy that I had yesterday. It's like I have no sense of direction, initiative, or motivation. I feel as if I am just idling and that I am not getting something done that should I should be doing. During my time awake I was very busy with the kids and housework. I started thinking about the baseball game, yardwork, and party that we have to do next week and I started getting resentful.

I had to pray for God to remove my resentment and I had to realize that I needed to be grateful for beautiful children and a fruitful life.

This evening the cloudiness in my spirits lifted. My brother-in-law visited and the kids played with their uncle. I got to watch a baseball game and a football game and practice with my son.

I am ready to read today's scriptures and go to bed.

Thanks be to God for a fruitful life.