Last night was up late picking up some bulk items.

Early this morning I woke up at about 3 am from a nightmare that my youngest daughter was trapped in a crevice and she was crying out for me but her face was covered by her blankets and her cries were muffled. I woke up startled but was relieved that it was just a dream.

I never did get back to sleep after that and I went ahead and got out of bed at about 4:30 and did some cleaning and reading. I went ahead and ate so that I might sleep. as I was sitting at the table I began hearing occasional cries from one of the children. this is not unusual and they weren't consistent enough for me to check on anyone. Then just as I was about to go to sleep I heard them again this time a little louder. I jumped up to check on them thinking it was my youngest son. He looked uncomfortable so I tucked him in but then I heard the muffled cries from my daughter's room. I darted in there and found my youngest daughter with her leg stuck in an awkward place between the headboard and the wall.

I went back to sleep and had a hard time getting going all morning. Although now that I think about it I did have a very focused prayer time. I found out that my wife would be home because the lady she babysits for was home sick and didn't need her. I never was able to figure out what I should be doing.

In he afternoon I got very busy cleaning a free picnic table I got and then on fixing up a BMX bike for my son. I felt like I was being selfish because I did not help my wife with any of the kid drop-off/pickups or baths. I also felt bad because we weren't able to for to the treatment center across town and speak per our invitation. I hated this but there was nothing we could do as my son had a therapy appointment late in the day. I did get to have a long talk with a guy who is new in sobriety. Now that I think about it I remember a recent conviction that my role is to do one on one work in the trenches rather than speaking engagements in the spotlight. If I truly believe that pleasing God is more important than personal acclaim then I should get just as much of a sense of constructive accomplishment.

Thanks be to God.