This morning I stood alone outside, and watched, and listened, to a deluge of large snowflakes flurrying down from the heavens all about me.  I was grateful for the moment and felt the presence of the Spirit somehow trying to tell me something.   I thanked God for my life in this world.

I got to watch my kids throw snowballs at each other this afternoon.
I was able to get an assignment done today.

Somehow at some level today I sense that my willingness has diminished.

This evening I go to go to a meeting and was content to just listen.   I had a lot to say, too much, but the others said enough. 

I was thankful to be able to comfort my son who was afraid to sleep alone.  I thought of the sound of fear in his cry and I realized my own.  I sought to fully admit it and I said to God, "I am afraid, I am afraid" over and over.  In doing so I somehow believe my willingness will be renewed. Sleep came and I had nightmares but was not afraid. I woke up and they were gone.

Thanks be to God.

Post Script - After writing this evening's review I remembered that I was inspired somehow by today's mass reading but I couldn't remember how, so I reread it.  It was the first reading from Isaah:

Thus says the LORD:
Just as from the heavens
the rain and snow come down
And do not return there
till they have watered the earth,
making it fertile and fruitful,
Giving seed to the one who sows
and bread to the one who eats,
So shall my word be
that goes forth from my mouth;
It shall not return to me void,
but shall do my will,
achieving the end for which I sent it.

I was amazed at the synchronicity with the moment during the snowstorm when I sensed the presence of the Spirit.  After I went to bed I thought some more about the snowstorm and realized that all day and at that moment I was seeing the image of the snowflakes falling all around me in my mind.  It was like when you come from an all day boating trip and you can still feel the rocking of the boat. 

I thought about looking up seeing the huge flakes silhouetted against the sky at multiple levels coming down by the thousands.  They looked like legions of angels descending in an assault in the spiritual battle.   As I looked down the street and saw all the different size and clumps of white sparkling flakes against the backdrop of the trees and homes they looked like treasures from heaven pouring down all about me.

Perhaps God was telling me to persevere and know that He is providing me with abundance even when I can't see it.