This evening I got to go to a meeting. Just before it started I felt very spiritually flat. The room seemed uninviting and the idea seemed stale. I stared into a corner of the room and got that optical illusion of inversion. I acknowledged my discontent and reminded myself that it was just a matter of perspective that could be changed. I considered that my spiritual condition may be obscured due to the mental focus that I must exert on academics.

The topic was the distinction of the real alcoholic and the difficulty in choosing the spiritual solution. No one opened up and I had some thoughts so I jumped in there. I started well and made most of the points but I lost my train of thought and I had the feeling that I was on to more. I thought about the importance of understanding the distinction between the powerless and the problem substance abuser. I thought about how this is where the misunderstanding of those who disparage the spiritual solution arises because they often cite that some people recover without it. While they are right that some do, what they fail to understand is that there is a distinct class that does not. There is a failure to distinguish between the truly addicted from the chemically dependent.

I was once asked when I knew that I was powerless. I started to answer that it was when I learned about the disease concept. But instead I answered that it was probably the second or third time that I drank. The reason was because I intuitively realized that my reaction was very very different than others.

This also got me thinking that the spiritual solution is the only way for some people because we know that drinking was a spiritual experience for us. That being said, the spiritual solution is effective for anyone who wants it.

A guy that I recently started sponsoring mentioned that his old sponsor used to ask him what his mental state was. This resonated with me as I have recently started asking people that same question.

I had a whole lot going on and still do after that meeting. The floodgates have opened.

Thanks be to God.