This Saturday morning we went to a Bicycle Rodeo at my son's elementary school in our neighborhood.  I wanted to get up early and make it their on time so as not to miss anything and to ensure that my kids got to participate.  I envisioned us all riding their with the little ones in the bike trailer.

When I woke up I had to go to the store because we didn't have enough of the breakfast foods that I had bought the day before.  I blamed my wife for letting my son eat them.  But I also let him eat some first.

When I got back we had to rush to get to the event.  As we all got dressed and ready and unready, it began to get chaotic and tense.  Outside I had to get bikes ready and I couldn't find the air pump and the kids were on their bikes riding out of sight and my wife was inside.  When she came outside we bickered, and tripped over each others intentions, culminating with me accidentally pinching my daughter's neck with the chin strap of her helmet making her cry.  I blamed my wife for sleeping late and making us rushed.

Undaunted, we made it to the bike rodeo and all had a great time.  The kids really enjoyed going through the course and getting stickers and eating doughnuts.   It was cute to see my youngest daughter determinedly following her brother on the course.  I was proud of seeing my autistic son proficiently navigating the course at 5 years old.  I was disappointed at my wife for running off to the car and blamed her that I could not follow him and take pictures.  I was most proud when he loaned his bike to another kid his size to go through the course.

After lunch we were all tired and rested.  I was very worried that I wasn't getting homework done.  Then there was a UT football game and I felt neglectful for sitting and watching it with the boys.  Partway through I got up and cleaned up and attended to my truck and practiced baseball with the younger kids.  At one point my youngest daughter was harassing me to push her on the swing and I asked my wife to deal with her implying that she was not helping me.

Later I talked to a sponsee that I picked up yesterday.  As I spoke to him about relationship issues felt that he needed guidance to escape a self-centered, fault-finding perspective.  During this I realized that this is me.  I am self-centered and fault-finding with my wife.  Regardless of whether or not she behaves well, I must set aside my expectations and demands.   I must love and appreciate and value God so much that I am willing to love, appreciate, and value her unconditionally and realize how lucky I am to have a good woman who lives by the same values as me.

In the evening I got to go to a meeting.  We talked about step 3, understanding what faith means, and grasping it's implication for our lives.

Thanks be to God.