This morning I was sick again and I started my prayers and fell asleep several times. I slept very late until close to 9:00 am. I still wasn't ready to get up but I had an intuition, a strong feeling that I needed to get the baby up or at least check on her. I jumped out of bed and found that she was awake and quietly crying because she ad diarrhea and had a huge diaper blowout. Looking back on it she didn't have a rash so she couldn't have been too long that way. But at the time I had the distinct feeling of having neglected the kids. I thought of the scene in trainspotting where the couple neglected the baby and it died.

I got the kids fed and we had a pretty decent morning considering how poorly I felt. But I did realize that I should be a lot worse and that I was getting better. I was also grateful that my wife and mother and I had stayed on top of the housekeeping so the house was fairly decent.

I dozed off and on all day and felt my body fighting the sickness. By mid-afternoon I had that useless feeling and just had no motivation to do anything. I felt like I was wasting the day. I realized that I had a lot to be grateful for especially that this bout of illness didn't happen while I was working. But I had to accept that my feelings were just going to be empty.

My wife missed getting a job tonight so she encouraged me to go to my meeting. I had started to entertain the notion that I might just unlock the clubhouse and come home because I was sick. But I went ahead and went and stayed even though I felt mentally disconected. I just decided to go through the motions and do God's will.

The meeting ended up being very well attended. I was completely surprised. I chaired and was able to do a decent job. The story was not all that great but it was a god meeting and I was very uplifted by the things shared and the fellowship in the room. But mostly I felt that I carried the message and perfomed a vital service. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity disappeared.

I got to stay afterward and play washers and have some one-on-one fellowship and guidance after the meeting.

I got home and felt way to awake way too late, I was worried about not being able to sleep. After having some good conversation with my wife we both started winding down towards bed and she had an intuition about our autistic son and went to check on him. She found that he had vomited very bad. I was awake enough to help her clean him up and comfort him. I would not have been able to do this had I no been awake.

Once again I see that all things are as they were meant to be.

Thanks be to God.