Today I felt disconnected all morning. I didn't get to sleep until late last night and I had a very hard time waking up and getting through my prayers this morning. Then I kept needing to rest and I felt very unproductive. My wife went to class and was away until 3:30 in the afternoon when I was sch3eduled to do step work with a guy. I was resentful because she was reluctant to come home at this time. I was resentful because I felt like this situation robbed me of my initiative when I found myself feeling aimless and disconnected after attending to the children all day.

Nevertheless, throughout the day I resisted these feelings each time they cropped up. I asked God to remove them, to take away my blaming, and to keep and open mind about my attitude and outlook on life. I tried to remember that "this too shall pass".

In the evening my wife came home but the guy I was supposed to meet with canceled so I felt that the right thing to do was to continue to help my wife with kids. I found myself getting resentful when she was taking a nap while I fed the kids but I resisted. I was grateful for the pot of stew that she started in the morning before she left.

After dinner my son had a party for his friend around the block. My wife intended to take all the kids by herself while I was supposed to be working with the sponsee. But since he canceled I could have had some free time. I felt compelled to attend the party even though I didn't feel well or want to.

At the party I enjoyed seeing my kids have fun and have lots of friends. We learned that the boy's father is my 1st cousin once removed so the boys are cousins also. I had heard earlier in the day about a family reunion and I didn't want to go but this changed my attitude. In fact the whole experience at the party changed my attitude and outlook about a lot of things. Or maybe my attitude and outlook just changed by God's grace.

I went to the meeting with this renewed attitude and outlook on life. Interestingly these thongs were the topic of the meeting. I wrote about it in my other blog.

I close this day looking forward to tomorrow with a new attitude and outlook on life.

Thanks be to God.