This morning during meditation the word temper stood out in my mind. I realized that I still had some lingering misunderstanding of this term. In my mind the word temper has always meant anger. The phrase "bad temper" has always meant a person with bad anger. The phrase does have this meaning but what it actually means is that the person has a weak ability to "temper" their anger. The word temper is a verb that means to moderate or control.

I researched the word and found that the noun form of the word temper can mean a tendency to anger or lose patience easily, or a state of mind. I think this is a problem of emphasis. The emphasis has been on the tendency rather than the state. In looking at the root of the word I found that it is a verb that means to moderate or control.

I believe that the source of the problem is that self control and moderation are so objectionable to people that they have been de-emphasized in modern times over the idea that it is better allow the natural tendencies rather than repress them. This conception is limited by inability to conceive that the natural tendencies can be processed rather than just repressed.

This morning my wife and kids interrupted my prayers several times. I first got a little irritated but I accepted it and got up and showed them some love.

In the afternoon I got irritated with the neighbor kids that ride home from school with us for their bickering about seating.

Later I griped at my son for whining for me while my wife and I were talking. I gave him sentences for consequences and he refused to do them so his consequences got escalated. He kept refusing until I had to put him to bed. Then I went in and caught him playing video games. Throughout this episode I lost my temper. I lost control of my anger. I didn't completely lose control, but I certainly could have tempered my anger more effectively. I must work to assign consequences more systematically and to control my anger.

In the evening I got to go to a meeting.

Thanks be to God.