Today was like trying to drink from a firehose.

Upon awakening I struggled to focus during prayer. I got up and tried to get awake but still floundered. I simply surrendered and plodded through my prayers as best as possible.

I thought alot about the reasons people need God today.

I made a decision to go to a morning meeting so that my wife would be able to go to an evening meeting if she was inclined to do so. I questioned whether going to the meeting served any purpose because those people don't know me but I committed to going anyway.

I read the Daily Reflection so that I would have some thoughts prepared should that be the topic. The reflection was about the resolution of loneliness and the part that prayer and meditation played in effecting conscious contact with God. I had been meditating on the reasons people need God and saw a common thread of #2 Unconditional Love and Friendship.

When the reading was read at the meeting I thought of how my thoughts about prayer and meditation this month have gravitated toward effecting conscious contact. This took me in a different direction and caused me some distraction as I was trying to narrow down my brainstorm of thoughts. I also began to question if I was off target. The meeting opened with a thud of complete silence and after 2 people shared it ground to a silent halt again. So I spoke up despite my confusion. My speaking was halting and my words were possibly incongruous but I did my best to stay on target. I was dissatisfied afterward but thinking back I couldn't think of anything terribly off target so I guess I did my best to carry the message.

During the meeting I felt re-connected with the people there and was glad that I went.

This afternoon became particularly stressful. My wife informed me that we were in a financial crisis and that she had arranged for a meeting with an organization for emergency aid. I questioned her judgment about this and we got into an argument about it. Fortunately pickup time for my daughter came and it provided us with some separation. Then I fell into remorse over my actions and was afraid that she was going to cancel the help that we probably need. I realized that my actions were based in pride and fear. Thankfully she was agreeable with me when I got back and she hadn't canceled the meeting and didn't stay mad. I admitted my wrong and my fear to her.

On top of that the key on my mailbox won't work and we are waiting on mail critical to our income.

I was reading someones Facebook app that said God wants you to know... It said ... that today is a big day for you. Yes, today. Keep your eyes open for a message.

I struggled with my fear and pride of the meeting that was going to take place at my house. I worried that I would know the people. I even had an absurd thought that what if one of the persons might be someone I went to high school with. I did my best to give it to God.

A guy called me in the afternoon who was in a crisis of faith and I was able to help him and he was able to help me.

The meeting took place in the evening and one of the interviewers was someone that I went to High School with. The interview went well, my pride became inconsequential, we got some assistance, they reassured me that many people are getting assistance these days, and my fears were relieved.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed!

Through many dangers, toils, and snares,
We have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

"Oh to grace how great a debtor!"

Thanks be to God.