This Friday I was grateful to wake up feeling good and to get a good start.

As the day progressed I started to feel the sense of aimlessness and lack of initiative that I have had lately.  I was babysitting my daughter and running some errands for my wife.  I was remorseful however that I didn't make better use of the day.

In the evening I really wanted to get away.  My wife got angry at me about something, the kids were talking and demanding things constantly, I was doing so many things that I didn't want to do that I didn't even know what I wanted to do or should do anymore.  I thought about how this is a feeling that I have been having every day now for some time.  My wife had an evening event planned, a movie at an outdoor theater.  As we made preparations and the time got closer I began to question it, get somewhat resentful and wanted to go less and less.  The thought of managing all the kids in public on a hot evening sounded awful to me.  I thought about how I could have peace and quiet and maybe go to a meeting.  But I realized that I was being selfish and I reluctantly went.  I made a special effort to resist those feelings and to try my best to be supportive to my wife.

The movie was Shrek 4ever After.  It was about the domesticated Shrek who has settled into domestic life and gradually becomes overwhelmed with the routine, mundane family life.  It begins with a walk through summary of the tale of his meeting the princess who becomes his wife, their adventures, and then their kids and life which is going happily ever after.  But it continues into a repetition of his daily life in which he becomes gradually more and more discontented.

I like the way that it was done because it gave me a great sense of how appreciation and gratitude can be gradually eroded.  It really hit home for me because of the sense of overwhelming powerlessness one feels from the daily demands of fatherhood, in particular for 3 small children.  As his discontent progresses, Shrek fantasizes about his old life, "when things made sense".  That is exactly how I have been feeling!  I realized that I have been developing a big problem that I didn't fully realize.

The film goes on in a similar story line to "It's a Wonderful Life".  Shrek gets to see what life would be like if he didn't exist (as a consequence of his desire to get away).  He sees how this severely affects the lives of the ones he loves. He receives a radical attitude adjustment and a deep appreciation for his life and his wife.

That is how I felt at the end of this day.

Thank God for my life.
Thank God for my recovery, my enthusiasm just got a huge shot in the arm.
Thank God for my kids despite the confusion that comes with them.
Thank God for my wife whom I love even when she isn't perfect.

Thanks be to God.