Today and throughout this weekend I thought about the human trait of self awareness and the common characteristic of inability to perceive certain aspects of one's self.  I thought of how to conceptualize this and determined that the term "personal blind spot" best encompasses the various aspects of this area of self.  In the Johari window it is called the blind area.  Perhaps this is an expansion on this concept or just a deeper understanding on my part.

I also thought about how people are groovy.  Our behaviors are pliable yet rigid.  We form habits like grooves on a record, but it is harder to break them than to make them.  They become hard etched patterns in our minds that lead us through repeated sequences of behavior and outcomes.  We have to exercise our will (sometimes with great or extreme effort) to shift out of them or re-groove them.  But the more we become habituated the deeper the grooves become and the more we lose the power to shift out of them.  They can become so deep that they become ruts.  Then only a power greater than ourselves can remove us from them and remove them  from us.

I did a LOT of cleaning in the morning and then went to a meeting at the AA club.  It was one of those things where there was no clear topic but I was able to focus my thoughts on the my experience of my self-centered defiance that does not like to admit alcoholism.

This evening my son and I got caught in a rain/hail storm at the ballfield, it was great.

Thanks be to God.