This morning I was late waking up and never got more than "Thank you God" out for a morning prayer.  My wife  actually got out of bed before me and started preparing the kids for mass.  I had to resist my feelings of remorse and anxiety.

We made it to mass early and in good spirits.  The priest gave a great homily in which he made a powerful statement that I wished to reflect on and commit to memory and he told two great stories of which I can only remember the latter, it was about a three legged chicken. I wish and pray that I could recall what he said.

After lunch I felt exhausted and fell asleep and didn't get much accomplished.  I felt like I was too tired today and something must be wrong with me.

This afternoon my wife was away at school studying.  I was disappointed that I never called my friend to tell him that my son and I would not make it for a baseball lesson. I was grateful that I got to rest.

Last night I had a dream that my wife had distanced herself from me and the writing was on the wall that she had someone else, and a new lifestyle.  I was suddenly thrust into the devastating feelings of relationship withdrawal and the futility of trying to recover the love of someone.  I woke up loving her.  This is important to me now because like most days recently today we are distant due to our differing viewpoints, our busy-ness, and bickering.

I got to go to a meeting tonight and share about the importance of the disease concept.  I received and insight that my split personality consisted of three distinct entities at odds with each other and that deterred my willingness, the fiercely pragmatic individualist, the addict/obsessive defender, and the anti-theist amoral objector.

I wish I could remember what I priest said today, I trust that it will be revealed to me later.

Thanks be to God.

P.S. I remembered that the first story our priest told was the legend of the people of the village who prayed for the God to grant them one year of the sun and rain when they wished it.  God granted their wish and when they prayed for rain they got rain and when they prayed for sun they got sun.  This caused the corn stalks to grow tall, the fruit trees to grow lush, and the wheat to grow thick.  But when harvest time came their joy turned to sadness because the plants bore no fruit.  When they asked God why he said because they did not pray for the north wind to pollinate the plants.

The point was that we cannot know all that God knows and therefore when we ask for things in prayer only God knows what we need.

I just noticed that the first reading in the mass today was from Revelations.  Funny that I thought quite a bit about this book yesterday after hearing the song "John the Revelator".

I still can't remember what the priests quote was but I have faith that God will give me what I need.