With school being out I have had a feeling of aimlessness in the morning after feeding the kids, and getting them off to school..

I still felt bad about the mistake I made in last night's game.  I had to dissect my remorse and elect to let it go and see the good job that I did do.  I also remembered an injury that happened during the game where the pitcher got hit in the head by a hard hit line drive.  It kinda put things in perspective.  The boy had to be taken to the emergency room to be checked out, but he seemed ok.

Also, that team didn't win a game all year and our team won all but one.  I am grateful that my son got to have this experience once in his life.

My wife and I bickered about allowing my son to ride his bike to school.  I was resentful that she isn't willing to allow it.  I want him to have this responsibility, build self-esteem, and interact with the world outside of the car in a healthy way.  I have said my piece and now must let go of my resentment. It kept cropping up all day and I started getting resentful about other things and finding fault in her character defects of fear based reactivism and impulsive decision making.  There I've said it, now I have to give it over to God and let Him handle it.

My sponsee that I was worried about called me today and all is well.

This evening we attended the closing ceremonies for my son's baseball league.  Our team  was awarded 1st place and we received our trophies.

After that the All Star team was announced.  I had talked to my son and prepared him that he would not be selected as he is 9 and it would only be 10 year olds.  But they announced that we had enough players to field a 9 year old team.  I saw the excitement in my son's face.  But they announced all the players and he was not one of them.  When the coach folded up his list I saw my son's head drop.  I thought about all the hard work he had put in physically and spiritually this year.  Several of the players announced were clearly less skilled than my son.  A lot of thoughts went through my head about the selection process and I did my best to explain it to my son, half of the selections are based concretely on high skills and the other half on a popularity contest of various sorts.  All the ways that I could have been a bigger contributor and networked to give him better visibility crossed my mind.  I had to resist negative feelings.

I was handed a trophy but didn't think I should get it because I was the "5th" coach. I tried later to give it to the other assistant who was busy conducting the ceremonies as he is the Commissioner also.  But, he graciously declined it and told me I deserved it.  I still didn't think so but I admired his attitude.

Thanks be to God