This morning after I got the kids going and fed and cleaned up I hit a wall.  I got that feeling of being overwhelmed by their needs and wants and no sense of direction of my own.  I tried to resist being resentful and just accept that I needed a time out.  I stopped to rest and was disappointed that I wasn't doing more with the day.

My friend whose son plays baseball wanted to get them together to practice but I could not get myself to do this.  I was disappointed that I was letting this opportunity slip by but I felt that there were more important things that needed to be done first even thought I didn't know what they were.  Plus, I couldn't make any plans without knowing what my wife planned to do.  I had to resist getting resentful at her.

My wife got going about this time and she tried to coordinate with me but by this time I had become brain dead. Thankfully, she made some decisions and took the kids to see a movie.  During the time she was gone I started cleaning the house and my mind gradually shifted back into order.  I realized that my mind has a need to get into order before I am able to have that initiative to get through the day productively.  I realized that when I have to attend to the kids and be in the midst of their clamor alone in the morning that I never get in order.  Again I had to resist getting resentful at my wife and just recognize this so that I might better cope with what I can change.

I got some good cleaning and a big honey-do done and felt productive by late afternoon.  Their was a big thing my wife wanted from me that she got mad at me about later, but I just had to let her own her feelings and not get lost in trying too hard to please her.

I got to go to a meeting tonight and talk about humility.

Thanks be to God