When I woke up this morning my attention to prayer was not resolute.  I ran out of time quickly and had to attend to the kids.   I did pray but it was abbreviated.  I had to stop kicking myself about it but at the same time be aware.

     Today I had an absolute imperative to complete my math assignments that were due last week.

     This morning I thought about a sponsee going through a relapse who is trying to reconnect.  What should I say to him?  I thought about my own relapses and how the feelings of remorse and confusion from them would serve as a catalyst for resolve either to turn back to recovery with more vigor, or to turn back to my nihilistic acquiescence to the disease.  I thought about how I turned this to effective use by adopting the attitude that my recovery work, particularly the writing and meeting with sponsor, had to become my number one priority no matter what.  We finally connected at noon.

     At 11:00 am  I turned off the TV my daughter was watching as part of our TV exposure reduction practice.  At noon  my wife turned it on.  I pointed out to her that we should turn it off and she started objecting to me in a high pitched rapid voice.  I was indignant at how she was justifying something she frequently complains about.  I also felt resentful at her volatile reaction.   As I thought about this though, it occurred to me that I had triggered the outburst in the tone that I had taken with her when I addressed the issue.